The Lesson Never Ends...

I've been thinking lately about people's behavior.  Christians in particular.    And I sorta think we can be placed in one of two categories.

1 - Those who fully grasp the weight of their own shortcomings and because of that are able to offer love and grace to those around them. They are genuinely a joy to be around...even on their bad days.

And...

2 - There are those whose plank-filled eyes knock-out everyone they come into contact with.  They literally hurt to be around.  The plank of self-righteousness bruises and batters, unless the people around them get good at learning to dodge it...which means they please and agree i.e. duck and weave.

Over simplified?  Yes.  But true?  I think so.  

I've walked in both categories.  Sometimes flip-flopping back and forth moment by moment.  Each is a choice.  I can choose to have and be joy, or I can choose to have and be misery.  It's a choice I have every moment. Everyday.  

I choose joy.  And it's hard, and I fail often...because in my own strength, I literally want to beat some people with the plank in my eye.  

I mean realllly beat them with it.  

But I've been on the other end of that beating...and it hurts.  And it brings destruction.  That is not the legacy I choose.  I want to encourage.

The only way I can choose and be joy is Christ through me.  I can't muster up enough in me to do it on my own.  Any good that comes through me...is Him. Christ in me.

I am so very thankful for those in my life that bring joy.  Their lives speak, and live and breathe truth.  They point to Jesus, rather than to themselves.  They encourage me that it is possible to live outside myself.  To choose to dwell on good in other people and in the circumstances of life.  

And without the plank-filled beatings I've received, I may never have grasped my own destructive behavior. 

Matthew 7:3-5

New International Version (NIV)

³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I hear Lucy playing in the toilet upstairs.  Again.

Life lesson #50028

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Killing May

May is sort of killing me.  It's like a million different things going on all the time.  

One of my favorite quotes is by John Owen  "Be killing sin or it will be killing you."  There's more to that quote, I cut the first part off.  Whatever, it's May and I have to hurry.

Point:  My new quote is "Be killing May or it will be killing you."

Seriously.

And what do you do, if you're me, and it's already a crazy/busy month?  You decide to paint things that don't actually have to be painted.

My theory is, if life is crazy, just go ahead and make it crazier.  Go big or go home.

Barstools...


And the front door.  It's navy...and hard to get a good pic of.



And we planted some flowers...

Jake had a spring concert so we dressed him up snazzy (in his Easter clothes) and he was adorable.

This is my extra annoyed fake smile because he wouldn't stop being so "adorable."

And this is my new favorite neon polka dotted shirt that I found on sale at the J Crew Factory store (online.)  If I could wear it every day I would.  I'm kidding.  I can wear it everyday and I will.  If something is dotted or striped or glittered it is automatically in my love pile.  

Did I mention that I am super happy that neon is back again.  It's like 7th grade all over again.  I'll try to avoid it from head to toe this time...but I make no promises.

We have our closing Bible Club program tonight (kids ministry) and then I will have officially "killed" May 8th.

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Should've Been

Sometimes I listen to a song over and over for days on end.

This song is the one I've been listening to this week.  

Love it love it love it.





And...it's Friday.  Amen.

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She's Like the Weather

On Tuesday this week it was 80 degrees out.  Today is Thursday, May 2nd and we have a Winter Weather Advisory until 6PM.  Get with the program Iowa, May is your redeeming month of the year.  

I don't care how many theories there are on global warming, I live in Iowa and it's May and IT IS SNOWING.  So yes, I mock you global warming. 



 On another note, Lucy has been crabtastic since the moment she woke up.  Crying and whining...non stop.  I had one of those really great parenting moments where I said "STOP CRYING!"  which of course made her cry and cry and cry some more.  And then, for a moment,  I sort of wished I worked outside the home so I could get her dressed and drop her off at the babysitters. 

I'm kidding.  It was waaaay longer than a moment that I thought on that idea.  Because there are days and moments where I want to trade one set of trials for a new set of trials...

But either way, there will be trials.  

So today I will endure the endless whining, and tantrum throwing.  The demands, the time-outs, and the potty training.  Because in between all that, she crawls up next to me and says, "Mom, I loooooove you."  and "I snuggle you" and "Mom, your hair is crazy."  

She's right, my hair is crazy.  

And tomorrow...she'll likely pop out of that bed with smiles and giggling.  





Her moods change like Iowa's weather.    

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Ironic...

So.  Last week I wrote this post on Words.  And then on Friday I got a call from my First Grade son's teacher about his choice of words.

Irony.

Oh Jake.  

Ben and I like to joke that Jake is (almost) 8 going on 80.  Like a grumpy old man in a young little body.  He's not easily amused or impressed, and on any given day he's pretty easily annoyed by whatever and whomever. And his "filter" is, well...we're working on that.  

It's just one of his quirks.  I like quirks in people, it's what makes us, us.  That being said, the kids has some great qualities too...and dimples.  Dimples are like my kryptonite.  All he has to do is smile... 

At school on Friday one of Jake's classmates declared that it was going to be a great weekend, which Jake then replied something to the effect of "I hope you have the worst weekend ever."  

When his teacher repeated what he said to me, I couldn't help but wish he'd been using some sarcasm...but he hadn't.  Jake was annoyed, and blurted what popped in his head.  

As I sat Jake down that afternoon to talk about it, I said that part of maturing was thinking about what we say before we say it.  Filter 101.   So we ask ourselves, Is this kind?  Is this helpful?

And in the back of my brain God is whispering, do you hear yourself?

And as a parent, I was disappointed that he chose those words...but I've also been there.  Or maybe I am there.  I'm 35 years old, and I've learned to filter thoughts when in public.  And, when you become a pastor's wife, God helps you install a double-filtration system for your tongue.  It's like a requirement. 

But at home...my filter is maybe not working so great.  I'm quick to tell the kids all the things I think they are not doing right. Without really filtering if it's kind and helpful in training them.   And I skip that part because I'm impatient and irritated. 

And that's not ok.

So in the parsonage, we are all working on: Is it Kind?  Is it helpful?  And guess what?

It. Is. Hard.

I was trying to explain to Jake that it's a problem we all struggle with, even grown ups.  But if we don't learn to tame our tongue we end up being rude and hurtful...and someone that people don't want to be around.  

And that got me thinking...maybe the people who don't bother to filter what they say drive me so crazy because the rest of us are doing the work to filter! The hard work.  It's like when I see people in pajama pants in public.  It's not so much that I hate the pajamas (ok, maybe I do) but that if the rest of society goes through the effort of putting on some pants, then so should they.

Wait...was that kind?  was that helpful?  Hmmm.  I'm not sure.  See, still working on that. ;)

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Never Too Late to Easter

So technically Easter Sunday is long over.  But it was so early this year (I like it later better) let's just pretend it wasn't that long ago.

Plus, I'm a Jesus Lover so every day is pretty much Easter.

Let's just do pictures. 

I ordered Lucy's dress from Target online.  I'm having her wear it to a wedding in June too.  Double duty baby.

This is Nelson, laying in the sun with a fleece sweater on...wishing his family would move farther south and out of the cold.

Real life.

Exhausted.  And yes, if you look at the chair in the background, that is indeed Lucy's artwork.  In permanent marker.  

Side note:  I FINALLY made it through the entire The Passion of the Christ movie this year.  I bawled a lot, and watched most of it from the other side of the house (because it just seemed more tolerable from farther away) but I did it.  We also had the boys watch it too, because "Jesus died on the cross for our sins" was becoming a kitchy phrase they hear us say all the time and now...not so much.

So thankful for Jesus.

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Words

This is one of my favorite songs right now.

Words by Hawk Nelson


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anVweXDcxhA


(Nelson is also the name of our dog.  That's just bonus random info for you)

Words can build us up, words can tear us down.  Start a fire in our hearts or put it out. 

Let my words be life.  Let my words be truth. I don't wanna say a word unless it points the world back to you.

I wanna speak Your love not just another noise.

The song speaks some serious truth.  I'm not sure we truly realize the power we hold in our words.  I'm also not sure that Christians listen to themselves all that much.  I mean really listen to what we say in regular conversation on a daily basis.

It often reeks of selfishness, arrogance, pride, harshness and criticism.  

Let's stop doing that.  It makes us look like idiots.  

And if someone points that out to us, we are quick to defend our reasons why we are justified in it...aren't we?  Sometimes God whispers to me, do you hear yourself?  Stop it.

And sometimes I want to say to other people, do you hear yourself?  (but that generally does not go over well ;)

But in my head I'm asking it. 

The Bible is clear.  This is one of a ton of verses, the Bible is not silent on the tongue.

Proverbs 18:21

New International Version (NIV)

²¹ The tongue has the power of life and death,
    and those who love it will eat its fruit.

We have the power to speak life to those around us, our husbands, children, friends, family, neighbors, community and strangers.  And internet land.  

Or...we speak death.  Which is another way of saying we crush people with our words, or tone, or our blabbering on and on about whatever.

Those around us, they hear us.  Whether we want to be honest with ourselves or not is up to us.  If you are brave find someone who will be honest with you and ask them the tough questions so that you can hear what you sound like. (and then when they tell you the truth, accept it.)   

What consumes my conversations?  

Am I quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry?

Who does most of the talking in conversations?

What does my attitude generally portray about me?

Am I an encourager or do I leave people feeling drained after being around me?

Where are my sights and perspectives?  Focused on temporal or eternal?

Well, you get the idea.  Go ahead, do it.  I dare you.  When I did it the first time...it wasn't pretty.  But through God's grace the answers to those questions are changing.  

The weird thing that I didn't expect, is that some people don't want to see you change!  They view it as criticism against themselves...and/or other stuff I don't quite understand.   So I go back to this truth:  God called me from the way I was speaking, and to a way to control my tongue in order to bring life to those around me.  I didn't make it up, and I can't do it on my own.  In Him and through Him, because ultimately:  I want to walk in obedience to Christ.  Who gave His life for me.

That's it.

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