It probably began last winter sometime...I began thinking a lot about prayer. When we would ask for prayer requests at church, in Bible Study, Sunday School, they always looked the same. Most were about physical needs. Some were about life situations and very, very few were about our own spiritual struggles.
And it bothered me. It bothered me that in my own life prayer had become about petitioning God for what I thought was best. Bring healing. Provide here. Work out this situation. Bossy.
I couldn't shake that nagging thought of, "Who are you, to think you know best?"
Because I know myself. And I know nothing about how anything is going to turn out. Ever. I make wrong assumptions, wrong choices, often with wrong motives. And yet when I spoke to my Holy God, I came before Him with instructions.
Why? WHY? There were a couple reasons. One: That's how people around me pray. We all do it. I mean, when the prayer line comes around to me and I say, "You got this God. Do what honors and glorifies You...and no matter what that is, help us to draw close to you and bring You glory." What are people gonna think?!? It might end up sounding like I am just in a hurry. So instead, I list out a few (not all) and then wrap it up. People pleasing at its finest. Two: If I just list out instructions, then I'm not responsible for really accepting His plan. And I think I'm in control, and that makes me feel better. Except that is doesn't. Because ultimately I know that I'm a moron and shouldn't be left in control. Of anything.
And then this spring I got an email. They'd like to know if I would review a book. And it's called Anything. And in my gut I know this is God's timing.
It's called Anything: the prayer that unlocked my God and my Soul by Jennie Allen.
If you want less God, then you will hate this book. If you want to remain in control because you know best, this book is not for you.
But if you are feeling that nagging-in-the-gut that you are holding back from God...then read this. I promise you it will hurt so good.
Part 1 of the book is called Everything Keeping us from Anything, and I read through that thinking yep, yep, yep. Right on.
Part 2 is called Praying Anything and that's the part of the book where the tears begin to flow...because the prayer of Anything is hard. And scary. But essential if we want to know the fullness that God has for us.
And Part 3 is my favorite, called Living Anything. Jennie gets down to the nitty gritty of what that means, and how (practically) that works out in our lives.
Jennie's writing style is easy, and honest and simply to the point. I adore it.
I've found that Anything is a prayer I pray, and then often try to take back. I often pray anything, and mean anything but that. I'm a work in progress, and two steps forward and one step back is still better than being stuck.
And Stuck is what I'm talking about tomorrow. Stick around. And say hello. Stalkers. ;)
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Where I'm At
I don't plan out blog posts. Mostly because I want to be me...and I'm a procrastinator. So whatever I'm writing about, is just me, where I'm at.
This fall I have been teaching/leading three different areas of ministry within our little church. We're little, which means most of the core group is serving in more than one area. I often think maybe that's the reason some people avoid little churches...you're needed. And life is busy, and the more I talk to people, the more I realize that each of us acknowledges each others busyness, but secretly, we think we're the busiest.
And maybe we are. And if that's true, then that's sad. But busy is not the point of this post. Digression.
Ministry is where I'm currently at.
God has been messing with me in lots of different areas. Which I'm planning to share with you over the next few days. Frustrations, anger, complaining, people pleasing, fear of man...it's ugly.
Teaching spiritual stuff is so very good. And so very hard. And has been absolutely essential in my spiritual growth.
It requires time. And preparation. And God wants me to get what I am teaching (that's where the hard part comes in.) It requires commitment. And prayer. I can't decide I don't feel like going. It requires putting other people above myself. It requires inconvenience...which may be the very definition of servant hood. It requires obedience. It requires being held to a higher standard. And for me, it's what God uses to change me, mold me.
These three areas of ministry have not caused the "busy-ness" and hassle that you would think they should. They're producing growth...and growth, in regard to myself, is almost always painful. But in the end, it produces something so beautiful, not just for myself, but for those around me. It boils down to this: Jesus makes a difference in my life. I want other people to know He can make a difference in theirs too. And that makes all the requirements minuscule in comparison.
If you have never taught, or led in an area of ministry in your church: You should. Period. And I don't mean greeting at the door, or working in the nursery once a month (those are great things, and still do those :) but I mean going beyond the ministry that just requires you to show up. In fact, do it regularly. Not constantly, but regularly. Because in the end, what do our beliefs mean if we aren't willing to give of ourselves for His glory?
You will not learn enough, or grow enough by just showing up on Sunday or Wednesday or whatever day. That's what your pastor wants to tell you, but can't because you're too busy telling him how busy you are. Just kidding!...that's what his wife wants to tell you. ;)
Till tomorrow...or ten days from now.
This fall I have been teaching/leading three different areas of ministry within our little church. We're little, which means most of the core group is serving in more than one area. I often think maybe that's the reason some people avoid little churches...you're needed. And life is busy, and the more I talk to people, the more I realize that each of us acknowledges each others busyness, but secretly, we think we're the busiest.
And maybe we are. And if that's true, then that's sad. But busy is not the point of this post. Digression.
Ministry is where I'm currently at.
God has been messing with me in lots of different areas. Which I'm planning to share with you over the next few days. Frustrations, anger, complaining, people pleasing, fear of man...it's ugly.
Teaching spiritual stuff is so very good. And so very hard. And has been absolutely essential in my spiritual growth.
It requires time. And preparation. And God wants me to get what I am teaching (that's where the hard part comes in.) It requires commitment. And prayer. I can't decide I don't feel like going. It requires putting other people above myself. It requires inconvenience...which may be the very definition of servant hood. It requires obedience. It requires being held to a higher standard. And for me, it's what God uses to change me, mold me.
These three areas of ministry have not caused the "busy-ness" and hassle that you would think they should. They're producing growth...and growth, in regard to myself, is almost always painful. But in the end, it produces something so beautiful, not just for myself, but for those around me. It boils down to this: Jesus makes a difference in my life. I want other people to know He can make a difference in theirs too. And that makes all the requirements minuscule in comparison.
If you have never taught, or led in an area of ministry in your church: You should. Period. And I don't mean greeting at the door, or working in the nursery once a month (those are great things, and still do those :) but I mean going beyond the ministry that just requires you to show up. In fact, do it regularly. Not constantly, but regularly. Because in the end, what do our beliefs mean if we aren't willing to give of ourselves for His glory?
You will not learn enough, or grow enough by just showing up on Sunday or Wednesday or whatever day. That's what your pastor wants to tell you, but can't because you're too busy telling him how busy you are. Just kidding!...that's what his wife wants to tell you. ;)
Till tomorrow...or ten days from now.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Got It
And now an actual picture. Of my favorite new shoes. Minnetonkas.
Apparently all I needed to do in order to overcome by technological block was to blog about it. Now, we'll see if I can remember how I did it. ;)
Apparently all I needed to do in order to overcome by technological block was to blog about it. Now, we'll see if I can remember how I did it. ;)
When the Phone is Smarter Than Me...
I recently got a smart phone. A hand-me-down used one that was just the right price of free. It's taken me awhile to get used to it...and sometimes it just mocks me and my inability to figure out technological things. But all in all, it has Instagram so therefore I love it.
That being said, I really can't even figure out Instagram very well. And with Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram who has time for a blog? I need to consolidate, and is that even possible? And is that possible for me?
Like, how in the world do I get my Instagram pictures in my blog posts? I googled it, but then it said something about html and then my mind just shuts down automatically.
First world problems, people. Life is so hard sometimes *sarcasm*
Speaking of sarcasm, my first born 11 year old son did not inherit my sarcasm gene. Poor kid has to ask, sincerely, "really?" after most things I say, because he genuinely doesn't know if I'm serious or not. And then there's my 2nd born, 10 year old son..who dishes it right back to me. And sometimes I have to correct him...while inside I smile a smirky smile of pride. For the record, I love them both.
Back to Instagram. If you by chance are a super genius and can tell me how I can get my Instagram pics into my blog I would forever be indebted to you. Kidding. Or am I?
That being said, I really can't even figure out Instagram very well. And with Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram who has time for a blog? I need to consolidate, and is that even possible? And is that possible for me?
Like, how in the world do I get my Instagram pictures in my blog posts? I googled it, but then it said something about html and then my mind just shuts down automatically.
First world problems, people. Life is so hard sometimes *sarcasm*
Speaking of sarcasm, my first born 11 year old son did not inherit my sarcasm gene. Poor kid has to ask, sincerely, "really?" after most things I say, because he genuinely doesn't know if I'm serious or not. And then there's my 2nd born, 10 year old son..who dishes it right back to me. And sometimes I have to correct him...while inside I smile a smirky smile of pride. For the record, I love them both.
Back to Instagram. If you by chance are a super genius and can tell me how I can get my Instagram pics into my blog I would forever be indebted to you. Kidding. Or am I?
Monday, October 1, 2012
Serious-er
I simply like the month of October. The weather here is lovely, there's no major busy-ness, and we've settled into the routine of school again.
Good stuff.
I've also decided, for no particular reason, that I'm setting some goals for October. Two goals.
1 - Run my butt off. Literally. My goal is to put in 50 miles by November 1st. I've been sorta half-invested in running for awhile now. Time to get serious-er. Plus, if I make my goal, I'm rewarding myself with this.
2 - Blog my brains out. Instead of composing posts in my head that never see the light of day, I'm going to write them. And hit publish.
That should do it! :)
Good stuff.
I've also decided, for no particular reason, that I'm setting some goals for October. Two goals.
1 - Run my butt off. Literally. My goal is to put in 50 miles by November 1st. I've been sorta half-invested in running for awhile now. Time to get serious-er. Plus, if I make my goal, I'm rewarding myself with this.
2 - Blog my brains out. Instead of composing posts in my head that never see the light of day, I'm going to write them. And hit publish.
That should do it! :)
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
An Apology/Excuse
Dear Little Blog,
Where do I start? I miss you. I do. I know my actions say otherwise, but I promise I think of you often...mostly while in my van (where I've been spending a lot of time driving to football practices: 3 boys, 3 different practices.) So much of life is happening, and so much God is teaching me and it needs to be shared. It needs to be recorded. And yet...
I'm distracted. Constantly bombarded with distractions. Incessantly and constantly bombarded with distractions. Get it?
The distractions will not stop. I know that. But I'm having a tough time figuring out how to blog in these new set of distractions.
But I'll get it figured out.
And then we can be friends again...rather than awkward acquaintances that used to be friends.
Love,
Sarah
Where do I start? I miss you. I do. I know my actions say otherwise, but I promise I think of you often...mostly while in my van (where I've been spending a lot of time driving to football practices: 3 boys, 3 different practices.) So much of life is happening, and so much God is teaching me and it needs to be shared. It needs to be recorded. And yet...
I'm distracted. Constantly bombarded with distractions. Incessantly and constantly bombarded with distractions. Get it?
The distractions will not stop. I know that. But I'm having a tough time figuring out how to blog in these new set of distractions.
But I'll get it figured out.
And then we can be friends again...rather than awkward acquaintances that used to be friends.
Love,
Sarah
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