Wretched

I so enjoyed your comments and emails on my last post.  Thank you.  It's good to be understood. :)


Last week I had one of those weeks where I just couldn't shake my bad mood.  The fact that I couldn't pinpoint what was causing it just made my mood worse.     That saying, "If mama's not happy, nobody's happy" couldn't  be more true.  


It was even more annoying that I knew my mood was terrible.  I knew it was affecting my family, I just couldn't break free from it.  


Until this weekend.  


It had been a couple of weeks since I've been able to run outside.  A couple of weeks without my running buddy.  


Months of remodeling.


Kids with sickness.


A husband, whose already crazy schedule, was made even crazier by working on the remodel.


Cabin fever. 


I needed a break.  But sometimes, amidst the chaos, there just isn't time for a break.  


Saturday I was able to run outside.  4.75 miles of therapy.  I came home feeling better already.  


On Monday, it ended up that Ben didn't need to help on the remodel project, and a dear friend took Lucy for us so we could just hang out.  


I snapped this picture before we left.  Happy?  Yes.  Dork?  Yep.

We got groceries, used a gift card to Subway, and then sat at Starbucks for a couple hours.  I worked on my Bible Study, pausing way too often to share thoughts and other random stuff that we just haven't had time to share lately.  Ben read his book, and patiently put up with my interruptions.  


It's funny how something that simple...and short, was so refreshing.  It was a gift.  And a lesson.


God has hardwired me a certain way and I need to be aware of it, before the "Sarah that no one wants to be around including myself" emerges.  


 - I need to run.  Physically and mentally I need it.  
 - I need a break from my kids.  I love them dearly, but the constant-ness of                it all can be overwhelming.  
 - I need time alone with my husband.  Even if it's just a few hours.  
 - I need to not live on a diet of sugar alone.  

I made a pact with Ben.  I told him he needs to help remind me of these things, BEFORE I end up in the place I was last week...the place of the wretched mood that won't go away.  


You might notice that the list is void of the spiritual things I need.  That's on purpose.  I'm completely aware of the spiritual things I need.  It's a lesson I had to learn and relearn a million times.  I need to be in His Word, I need fellowship through prayer, I need to worship through music.  It's my given.  Last week all those things were present.  And that's good.  The above list, specific to me, was sort of God's unique personal touch on the other things I need as well.  


How about you guys?  Do you know what you need?  Or, like me, do you easily forget?


I need internet too.  I should have added that. ;)

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Get a Real Job

Anyone remember that song, "Get a Haircut and Get a Real Job?"  It's a classy one, for sure.  Anyways, it's been running through my head this week.  Let me refresh your brain about  the chorus.

Lyrics www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/george_thoroughgood/ 
Get a haircut and get a real job

Clean your act up and dont be a slob

Get it together like your big brother Bob

Why dont you, get a haircut and get a real job

Being a stay at home mom and a pastors wife sometimes feels like being on a treadmill.  And we know how I feel about the treadmill.  In that, I'm putting forth great effort...one could say busting my butt ;) and still, when I hop off that treadmill, even if the little dashboard says 3 miles...it was 3 miles in ONE spot.  Which never quite feels the same as 3 miles of actual trail or pavement behind me.

Kinda like staying at home.  And ministry.  It's feeling a bit like a hamster wheel.  At the end of the night, I sit down and I'm exhausted.  You'd never know I ran the dishwasher, vacuumed, did 3 loads of laundry blah blah blah because at that moment, there are dishes to be done, cheerios on the floor, and  dirty clothes awaiting.

And that feeling of the treadmill creeps in.  That feeling of wondering if I really am making a difference or just working my tail off without going anywhere...without progress.

I stay at home.  Certainly I should be able to keep up.  I mean, what do I do all day?  (I hope you read that with sarcasm.  If not, go back and do it...it's fun.  Trust me.)

I think I'm realizing that I can't keep up.

There, I said it.  I can't keep up. Because even with staying at home, it's more work than one person can do.   At least with my (ridiculous) standards it is.   

And that's O.K.  

So, to all the stay at home mom's out there who also can't keep up:  *fist bump* or *knuckle bump* or whatever they call it, to YOU.

It's this season of life God has placed me in.  And it's good.  Very, very good.  And it's also totally fine to not keep up with all of it. 

So here's to not keeping up.  Because dang it, it's still a REAL job. ;)  

But I really could use a haircut...

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Around Here...

While perusing the aisles of Target recently, I bought this laundry detergent based solely on the fact that I loved the box.  It's pretty.  It cost more than the stuff I usually buy.  It brings me cheer.  

And it smells good.  

I can't get enough of this Bible study by Beth Moore.  It has me reading commentaries.  And rubbing my temples because sometimes it makes my brain hurt.  In a good way.

I've been doing a little sewing.  Nothing fancy.  I made this little cushion for the rocking chair that Lucy got for Christmas.  She insists on not sitting on the cushion...she flips it up every time she sits down. 

Baby Alive goes everywhere.. is everywhere.  Lucy loves her.  She is also always naked.  I'm not sure what Lucy has against her babies being clothed.  

The Kindle Fire...it's dreamy.

I've been working on getting things organized around here.  Again.  The funny thing about organizing is that doing it once does not keep you organized.  Apparently it's an ongoing thing.  A Lifestyle.  Shocking, huh?  


I prefer the organize then get messy then organize then get messy approach to life.  Right now, I'm in the organize phase.  Which is sort of ridiculous since I'm also in the remodel/addition phase of our home.  


By the way, the downstairs of the addition got painted last week.  EEK!  But when I try to take pictures of it, well, let's just say it looks weird.  More on that later.

Messy faces...

 Thanks to pinterest.  Again.

I recovered the dining room chairs again.  This time I used a "laminated cotton" so it's wipe-able without being to plastic feeling.  So far, I love them.  

This hangs on the fridge...bossing me around every day.  

And that there is a whole lot of random.  As is our life.

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Snickers

I made these last night.  Layer upon sugary layer.  They weren't ready to eat until this morning.  

Best breakfast ever.

Oh Pinterest, how I love thee.

Source: howsweeteats.com via Sarah on Pinterest

You can click on the link under the picture that says howsweeteats to get the recipe.

It's better than real snickers.  Ohmyword.

PS - It's worth the extra pounds...completely worth it.

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Guilty

The Crime:  

Right boot

Left boot

The Weapon:  Dry erase marker








The Guilty Party:

Her brother left the marker upstairs.  We forgot to gate the stairs.  Really, she's a victim of her circumstances.


Plus, she's cute.  That helps.


When Ben discovered the boots and brought them downstairs, I couldn't help but just shake my head.  By the 4th child, I've learned that nothing is sacred from the devastating effect of the marker. And let's be honest...Uggs are for comfort over fashion anyways.  I'm still wearing them.  Now they just have character. ;)

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On the Run

This month marks five years that my friend Billie and I have been running together.  


Five.  


I'm not sure I can express how miraculous that is.  But it is.  Because it's running.


Billie and I were new friend back then.  Our sons were in preschool together, and were good friends (still are)...and the preschool teacher kept getting Billie and I confused for each other.  And so that's how we got introduced.  She was fairly new to tiny town too and I was desperate to make friends.  Billie is pretty quiet, and I am...less quiet, so I sorta stalked her into a McDonald's play date.  

This is Billie and I in 2009.  :)

She mentioned she was running and I thought to myself...I should do that.  It was a whim.  But sure enough, we started meeting up a few times a week at 6AM...and from there it took on a life of its own.  


We've taken short breaks...due to freezing weather, injury, boredom, and my barfing-all-the-time pregnancy with Lucy.  But we always come back to it.


I laugh when I think of all the different things we've discussed on the roads and trails.  Because you know, between running partners, what's said on the trails stays on the trails.  It's the runners code.  Or something.  It's safe to say she knows more about me than anyone (other than Ben,)

A running partner is a gift.  One that I do not take for granted.  Without her showing up at my door, or counting on me, I would absolutely not run on my own.  And the fact that we have the same pace...well that's simply divine.  And one that can put up with me at 6 in the morning for that long...priceless.  She has become one of my closest friends.  We joke about whether we run because of the physical part of it...or because it's good therapy.  


And the answer is both.  Without a doubt.

And after 5 years of running I'm happy to report that the Mizuno Wave Inspires that I have to wear because I "mildly overpronate"  FINALLY came in fun colors.   


Because really, a little gaudy makes running way more fun.


Here's to five more years of running.  At least.

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To My Ministry Friends...

To all the pastors wives and women in ministry:


(Sounds so formal...)


Here's a link to a online conference that I signed up for called JustONE.  It looks like I'm going to LOVE it.  And I think you might to.


If you sign up, and did I mention it's free, then let me know so I can "chat" with you about what you think of it.


Go check it out HERE for more information.


I'm all about learning from other ladies in the trenches.  Well sometimes ministry feels like the trenches.  And other times...an older gentleman in your church gives you a hard time about how dirty the inside of your crock pot is (because you brought it to mid-week church to make hot cocoa in for the Bible Club Kids and he cleaned up afterwards) but he's only teasing and you don't care because really someone SHOULD clean the thing.  But he ends up feeling guilty about it so at 8:15 PM the next evening he drops by a ginormous ham for your family...as a peace offering.  And I like ham.  Ministry is GOOD!


*please note, you should read that entire last paragraph in one breath, because that's how I would say it if we were chatting in person.*


Long live the run-on sentences!


Now go register...I hate going to things by myself.

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