Ben and I had a pastor in our lives that always said that there was "no sacred cow" when it came to how he approached ministry. It meant that he was always evaluating how the church was running programs and various things...if it once was working and serving a purpose but over time became more tradition than ministry, then it was gone...no sacred cows.
It's stuck with me. It makes sense to me.
It's easy in life to make things sacred that were never meant to be sacred. Changing something does not mean that it's a bad thing, or that it never served its purpose, it just means that currently, it's time for something different.
I like to use the no sacred cow idea in my life outside of ministry as well. From anything as simple as hair products to the more complicated, like relationships.
My life, like yours, is chuck full of relationships. And lately, I've noticed I'm having trouble just keeping up with people. Old friends, new friends, bloggy friends, family, ministry, on and on. The end result usually leaves me feeling guilty.
Guilty that I don't talk with so and so anymore, guilty that one friendship takes priority over another, guilty that I haven't made that call, written that note, sent that card, left that comment...followed up on their life. My lack of doing any of those things in no way reflects on how If feel about that person, it reflects my life....my time...my priorities.
And that's where I find my sacred cow. The sacred cow of friendships.
Don't ya just love those friends who you haven't talked to in forever, but the moment you have a chance to catch up, it feels like you pick right up where you left off?!? Those are the friendships that last, that survive, because both people understand that life goes on...and sometimes, it goes on without each other, but it doesn't mean the friendship is gone, it just means it's changed...it's always there...it just looks and feels differently than before.
I've been seeking out God's help on this stuff...big time. I need Him to show me which friendships need more focus, and which ones are changing. As I was mulling my thoughts over with Ben, he shared something that really hit me. It was something to do with Chemistry and atoms...and I will of course butcher the explanation because of my complete idiocy in all things science...but it was something to do with atoms and molecules and how only so many molecules can be grouped together at a time. If there's too many they break off and form another group. (Ben and my chemistry teacher are hanging their heads in shame right now ;)
That analogy though is so true. As women, we grow and change and "break off" so that we can be blessed by new friendships. It doesn't mean the old one is broken or bad, it means that in order to bless and be blessed by new friends, we've got to be willing to let go of the all the time invested in the old ones and invest some in the new.
"Make new friends, but keep the old..." You know the song. Seriously, I should have just stuck to the bullet list form because I've even lost myself in this post! Good luck to ya'll! ;)
It boils down to this:
- I'm learning to appreciate all of the friendships God has blessed me with.
- Some of those are going to require more time than others.
- No need to feel guilty.
- Those old friendships, that require the least maintenance are often the best.
- Let go of the guilt.
- I can't "be there" for every friend. Even if I want to, I'm not meant too. Not meant to.
- Letting go of the guilt that was never supposed to be there in the first place...
- See a theme?
So, to all my old friends: I love you. You know I do. I think of you...I remember our history, it's part of me. You're just as important to me as you always were.
To my new friends: Our everyday lives cross paths continually. We share children in the same grades, neighbors, everydayness. I'm thankful to be sharing this part of the journey with you, and know that someday, many of you will be in the old friends category.
To my bloggy friends: Your uniqueness and sweetness entertains me endlessly. The fact that you've read this far is frankly amazing :) Keep writing.
To my family: You get the shaft sometimes. You get the tired and worn out version of me sometimes. The fact that you love me regardless is what makes us family. Love you.
To my Julie: You are one of the newest investments of time in our lives. I look forward each and every day to your emails...you are a part of our lives in so many ways, already. You soon will be family...and you will get the shaft sometimes...because that's what family does ;) Love you already.
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