Confessions From an Un-Romantic

Hello.

My name is Sarah and I am completely un-romantic.

I am.

I do not want a mushy Hallmark card or roses...I don't even like roses.  Give me daisies or a plant or carnations for that matter...but no roses, especially red ones.  

Weird, I know.

Many weeks ago I had mentioned to my husband that I wanted  new knives...you know, for all the cooking I do *cough* ...He listened.

Guess what I got for Valentines Day?  

Knives.

How did I feel about that?

Wonderful.  For real.

I'm not sure what it says about a couple who get each other knives and season 2 of 24  for Valentines Day but, for us...it means we're madly in love...and more importantly, we get each other.  *smile*

Pin It

I Am a Pastor's Wife...

I've been a pastor's wife for all of three years, so my knowledge is limited to say the least. I'm hardly one that's been around long enough to have a whole lot of wisdom for anyone, but since ya'll asked I can at least give you my take on it all ;)

Becoming a pastor was always an option for Ben. It was that, or a veterinarian. I thought the veterinarian option was a good choice, after all, he could still serve in a church...and I could be a normal wife. Deep down, I knew that if God called him to ministry that it meant He called me too. I was positive Ben would make a great pastor, and I was also positive that I had a good chance of ruining it for him...just by being myself.

Looking back, I think I was right. Left to myself, I would totally ruin it.

What I didn't foresee all those years ago, was that God would take me...my personality, my quirks...and He would tweak them to make them useful in ministry. I am talking about a lot of tweaking.

I could be honest without being harsh. Speak truth, covered in love. Be real without jeopardizing privacy. Love a tiny town. Have a burden for people I don't even know. The list goes on and on...all stuff that I never thought possible, because I never considered the fact that if this is what He called me to, then He would go above and beyond equipping me. He knows my faults and weaknesses better than me, of course He knew what He was getting into!

Here's the questions...

What's been the biggest struggle so far as a pastor's wife? Oddly enough my biggest struggle has always been this. Becoming a pastor's wife didn't fix it or magically make it easier, if anything it made it blatantly more obvious to me how absolutely essential it is for me to be in His word. Without it I have no hope of making a positive difference in anyone's life, especially those in my church.

How do you stay connected to women in your church? It's important to me that the women in our church know me. If I'm not sharing my heart with them, then they're likely to make assumptions on my motives and actions. If I can share with them my struggles and my hopes and they can see that I want God to use me and to change me, I think it makes it easier for them to be gracious and give me the benefit of the doubt. For me, I need them to know that I am one of them. I have the same struggles and issues that each of them have.

On the flip side of that, I do sort of have my own personal "hedge" of protection regarding close friendships with ladies in my church. Many of these girlies in my church are wonderful friends of mine and we can share the day to day stuff of life. They are trustworthy friends, however, for their protection and mine I choose to have my closest confidants be outside of our congregation. This way neither of us is put into a position that is going to become complicated. This is a hedge we placed before even beginning our ministry here.

If I could go back, 10 years ago to when Ben started seminary I'd tell myself this...

• I know you don't feel like you fit the "mold" of a pastor's wife. You're not the only one...turns out there's a lot like you.
• Be friendlier. Your first church is gonna be in a tiny town and God's gonna change you into a person that learns to reach out to people first, and it turns out, it's not so bad and you're gonna wish you'd allowed Him to change you so much sooner.
• You're gonna come upon lots of situations that you feel completely inadequate to deal with. And frankly, your ARE inadequate to deal with them, don't be scared of that...it's in those times He will show Himself strongest.
• Just love people. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Take a good look at the condition of your own heart before you attempt to judge the actions or motives of anyone else. Remember the enormous amount of grace that's been offered to you, and extend that same grace.
• Smile... a lot. Admit your ignorance. Laugh...at everything. For real. Find the joy.
• Let Him show you who you are, don't tell Him who you think you are. You're gonna end up doing some ministries that you're pretty sure you don't wanna do...turns out you're wrong.
• You're gonna be blown away watching your husband shepherd a church. That 17 year old boy you fell in love with is gonna be a great pastor.
• and you're never gonna get used to people calling him pastor ;) and you're not gonna like being introduced at the pastor's wife, but you'll get over it...sort of ;)
• Don't believe every ones horror stories of parsonages and bad pastoring experiences. Their stories are probably true, but God is writing your story...go to Him for the details.
• Believe Him for big things.

Wow, welcome to my longest post ever ;) For those in ministry who might want to read more, you can click on the left side of my blog under the "ministry" label, I've written several things previously about my experience as a pastor's wife.

Pin It

Conflicted

Good questions yesterday!  Now I have some blog fodder for a few posts...phew.

Gina from Louisville asked: Do you ever feel conflicted between living simply, being frugal, focusing on inner beauty versus the world, being fashionable, spending and looking good? 

One word answer:  Absolutely.

Long answer:  There always seems to be a pull to be off-balance.   It seems that something in my humanity wants to veer off course in one direction or another, regarding so many different areas of life.  We go to extremes.  And no matter what the thing is, we run the risk of making an idol out of it when it becomes extreme.

Saint Augustine said idolatry is worshiping what should be used or using what should be worshiped.  

It is easy to become obsessed with outer beauty, material possessions and appearances.  By obsessed I simply mean letting them consume my thoughts.  The same goes for the opposite of these things.  I can become consumed in striving for the simple, saving money, even frugality can become an idol if given the chance.  

Who and what consumes me?  It's the question I'm always having to ask my wandering heart.  If my answer is Jesus, then all the rest is just simply fun stuff. If my answer is anything other than Jesus, it's now become an idol.

I have an penchant for extremes.  I've often said that the reason I have not and do not consume alcohol is because I'd likely be a raging alcoholic.  I'm not even  kidding.

I think that it is fully possible for me as a woman to live simply, be frugal, be changed from the inside out while still being fashionable and making the best of the outside appearance that God has given me...all within a budget.  Now...I say possible...as in something I'm continually trying to get a handle on :)

One last thought on inner beauty:  I am absolutely and thoroughly convinced that Christ shines through His people.  Knowing Him and walking closely with Him won't change my face shape or my body shape, but I know that it will change my heart, and what's in my heart is going to overflow from me.  My words, my thoughts, my actions...and some people will be drawn to it, and some will be repulsed by it.  In our humanness I think we sometimes equate such things to physical aspects, when in reality we are being drawn in by a persons presence...we just don't have a good way to describe that.

Thanks Gina for that great question!  I'd love to hear all your thoughts on this one :)

Tomorrow, my thoughts on being a pastor's wife...need I say more ;)

Pin It

Riveting...

Let's play a little game.  

Let's pretend I can't think of anything to blog about.  Doesn't mean I can't think...just means that everything I think of is not blog appropriate...or I've talked about it endlessly already...or it means I can't think.

So your part of the game is for you to ask me some questions and then I get to answer and I promise I won't make it drag out for more than ten one post.

I know you can come up with something.  Know how I know?!?  Because I'm totally stealing this idea from other posts I've seen...so I know.

Leave me a comment with a question...any question and then I can try to come up with an answer...not necessarily the right answer, but an answer.  Or you can email me at lifeintheparsonage@gmail.com

Good times, huh?  Don't answer that...

Before I go, I'll leave you with the answer to, what I'm sure is your most pressing question.  Colgate Total Whitening toothpaste...it's what I use...I think its the best toothpaste ever.  Riveting aren't I.

Pin It

The One Where I Yap...

I wasn't going to post today, because seriously...there's just nothing new to report!  Life is good, and fun, but it's all the same stuff going on that I've already yapped about.

But obviously that doesn't stop me from yapping on...

Which I think is probably only interesting to me.

Things like:  

• It is WARM here.  In the 50's...YAY!  The snow is melting and everything is a muddy sloppy mess...which if you live in Iowa happens to be the most beautiful sight ever.  Ever.  There's chances of snow the rest of the week, but none of us care.  We are basking in the glory that is 50-some degrees.  
• I met with the high school guidance counselor today about classes for Julie.  I think the counselor (who was WAY younger than me, by the way) may have even been overwhelmed with my sheer enthusiasm.  That happens.
• It's a weird phenomenon lately...the shifting of feeling older.  I used to group myself with the twenty somethings, knowing they were younger but considering us roughly the same (deluded, I know)  But today, in the counselors office...that would have been a stretch.  But ya know what...I kinda like it.  
• I'm having a fairly good hair day today.  And dang it, that counts for something.

I love the days that loving life is so easy.  Many days are like that.  Many are like that and I don't even notice...I'm thankful today that I know it.

Pin It

Gibberish

Sit down, take a few minutes and have some coffee with me.

It's mocha mint today, I bought it at a cute little tea room on Saturday night where many of us from our little church had a Valentine's dinner.  It's delish.

Pardon the green bathrobe and crazy hair.  I've been wearing it curly again because it's just so much easier that way, but curly hair is not very forgiving after being laid on...it's unfortunate really.  

I overslept this morning.  It's Jack Bauer's fault.  Ben and I stayed up till midnight watching the first season of 24.  I'm not ashamed to admit that we watched 4 or 5 episodes in a row last night. We're completely hooked.  Junkies, I tell you.

I have all three of my boys home today.  Jake was sick last week and he passed it along to his big brothers...no barfing involved, so I can't really complain.  

Have I mentioned Julie?  :)  I don't think I've had one conversation with anyone this past week that I have not managed to weave her in...and whip out some more pictures for them to see. We've only been communicating for a week now, and already I feel like she's a part of our family. It is really quite amazing.     I can't wait for her to come to tiny-town...but I've got some stuff to do first. 

Which leads me to painting.  I've got some big painting plans.  

Alright, your turn...  

Pin It

Notes:

There are times when I hear something and it just HITS me.  Sticks with me.  Changes me.

Beth Moore is hitting me hard lately.  I love watching the DVDs that go along with this study.  Her passion for God's Word is inspiring and contagious, and what I love most about her is that everything really is all about Him.  

Here's what I scribbled down Tuesday night during Bible Study as we watched her DVD.  I feel like I can't write fast enough to catch all the good stuff, and if I don't write it down...*poof*  it's gone!

• Peace and ease are not the same.
• Many times we don't have a knowledge problem, we have an obedience problem.
• Part of being spiritually mature is ceasing to equate hard with bad.  Just because something is easy doesn't mean it is good.

I can't get these out of my head.  I have a feeling I know why.  There's a theme going on...

I love that God loves me enough to keep leading and guiding.  Not because He needs me, but because He wants me.

Pin It