Hungry Eyes...

Dear Ande's Mint Pie that I bought from the Schwan's man,

I can't help but dedicate a classic 80's song to you. I apologize in advance for the boring video, but it's the only one that didn't have a PG13 rating to go along with it.

Even at 510 calories a slice...you are still the best pie...ever.

Much love,

Sarah

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This is Who I Am...

I'm not trying to hide anything, I wear it on my sleeve.

I wear it on my sleeve.

I'm not trying to be something I'm not. This is all I've got.

This is all I've got.

I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel...just trying to be real.

Just trying to be real.

I'm not trying to say, follow me...I'm not the one who leads.

I'm not the one who leads.

Let me introduce myself to you...this is who I am. No more no less.

I am just a man who understands, because of You I'm blessed....no more no less.

I'm not trying to prove anything, it's all about the change. It's all about the change.

Yesterday I felt...weary. It's been a week or so of...stuff...life. I sometimes get bogged down with other people lives...the heaviness and the heartache.

Finally around 7 last night I knew I needed to run on the treadmill...for my sanity. "Running For My Sanity" ...it should be the theme of a 5k....Anyways...

God works through my little Sansa, I kid you not.

One of my all-time favorite songs came on (because I picked it ;)

It's a little one called No More No Less. I relate to the above lyrics in a way that I can't even put into words.

At the end of the song...it says this:

I hope you stare just long enough to see

the heart that's beating here inside of me

beyond all of the things you may think you know, I'm just a kid trying to make it home...that's it.

No more no less.

Lord, I wanna go home. Nothing more and nothing less.

I just wanna go home....nothing more and nothing less.

Let me introduce myself to you...this is who I am...this is who I am.

And I...sobbed...while running. Not pretty, I assure you. But EXACTLY what I needed to be reminded of from my Savior.

He knows that beyond what other roles people see me in...I'm just a kid, His kid, longing to be home...longing for Heaven. Seeking to fulfill the plan He has for me here...but longing for my real home.

I love my life...but I absolutely long for Heaven. And the fact that He spoke to me last night through those verses filled me with peace.

Peace in knowing that He knows the burdens I carry, and He knows I long to be with Him, and He reminded me where my hope lies...and of who I really am.

Have a listen...it's worth it :)

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Yeah Right...

He tried to convince me there were really "owies" under each of those.

Sure Jake...whatever you say.

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Do They?!?

Do girls sit and play with toys in the way that they were intended to be played with?



Do they?



Because in my experience, boys SO DO NOT!!!



It drives me a little bit crazy sometimes.



We have lots of toys...and rarely are they played with like I see those kids on TV commercials playing with them...with maybe the exception of Legos. Maybe.



This morning I walked into the boys' room to find Eli trying to repel off the top bunk...with his winter scarf while three others cheered him on. When I told them absolutely not, they looked at me in disbelief...like, WHY would I not think that was an excellent idea?!?



I carefully explained to them that I...am a fun-hater.



It gave me a flashback to my early elementary days, when I was sure boys were absolutely gross and disgusting and made no sense at all...weirdos.



Seriously, they are a little weird ;) I love 'em and all...but it doesn't change the fact that they kinda are a little disgusting sometimes :)



As the mother of three of those beautiful little creatures...I get to say that.

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*Blank Stare*

That's what I'm doing. I must have bloggers block...that OR my posts are generally caffeine induced and will now be more boring than EVER.


Bullets...must use them.

• The new Office episode (which I DVR) made me giddy last night...I like knowing Pam and Jim are good.
• I may or may not have also bought season 4 of The Office. I may have found my favorite episode thus far in my viewing. It's a little one called Fun Run...Michael hits Meredith with his car...does a run for rabies, Dwight kills Angela's cat...all priceless.
• No school for my kiddos today.
• We will be having twin boys staying with us tonight until sometime on Sunday. Five boys age 7 and under + husband+ dog = 7 males in my house...with just me. Lord have mercy.
• I did what any good Pastor's wife does when she watches boys who go to her church....rented movies and bought lots of food. And prayed... A LOT. Should work, right?!?
• Odie is reealllly happy to have the boys home today...happy in a totally inappropriate way, the kinda way that makes me keep saying (in my mean voice) "Odie, GET OFF OF HIM!"
• You wish you lived here...don't you.

HAPPY WEEKEND!!!

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What I Failed to Mention

Blogging is the best.  Know why?  I can have a terrible awful morning and then blog about it, and ya'll tell me that you too are sometimes terrible and awful.  And *BAM*  I suddenly feel better!

OK, so there was more to it than that...your comments encouragement yesterday completely helped in shoving moving me in the right direction.  The rest of my day was MUCH better...and as you all wisely said, Eli came home completely happy.

Here's what I failed to mention yesterday.  I have been drinking decaf coffee all week (except for one little trip to Starbucks on Tuesday morning.)  Yes, you heard me right.  DECAF.  

I went from drinking 12 cups of regular coffee daily to pretty much...decaf.  This may have been part of the reason I have not been particularly sunshiny this week.

I know what you're thinking.  Why?  WHY?  

So here it is.

It's like a drug addict (and yes technically caffeine is a drug, but lets not talk about that;)  To get a fix, I needed to drink an insane amount of coffee...and still I didn't feel very peppy.  When you can drink a Venti Caramel Macchiato and then lay down and take a nap...that's probably not normal.

I've weaned myself off and today I'm feeling like I'm coming out of the haze a little...I'm pretty sure there's a term for that that I can't come up with right now...watching celebrity rehab has apparently failed me.

Anyways, I'm not breaking up with caffeine.  Just putting a little space between us so that when I do need a good "buzz"  *snickering*  then I can get one.

...and now I'm thinking of all the ways I'm gonna get "googled" from this post ;)

Good times.

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Bad Mom Award Goes To...

I sent my "middlest" child off to school this morning...in tears.

I somehow forgot, in the midst of him ignoring my instructions all morning, how sensitive he is.

Mornings around here are sporadic. One morning, everything goes smooth as can be, and the next: chaos.

This morning would fall under the latter. The problem has a simple fix: Just listen and do what mama says. Simple right? Don't I wish.

Here's how it goes around here.

I say: Boys' go upstairs and brush your teeth.

They: head up the stairs and have to pass their bedroom to get to the bathroom...guess where they end up?

I say: Get your coat and shoes on.

They: Get up, but end up in a room in the house that does NOT contain their coat or shoes. When they finally make it to the mudroom, and are half-way dressed, they decide that they cannot possibly wear the shirt they have on...they must take off their coat and shoes, run upstairs, fling clothes all over until they find the right t-shirt and THEN come get their stuff on.

As I rushed to help get Eli's coat on I began my lecture.

"This is why I told you to get your stuff on 10 minutes ago, I tell you this for a reason, you need to listen and obey and not run off blah blah blah blah blah"

And then his tears came. I immediately wanted to take back my dumb lecture. It wasn't necessary, I had already been getting after them all morning...he got the point. Yet in my anger and frustration I couldn't let it go...

I hugged him and hugged him trying to reassure him that it was ok, no need to cry...but once those tears start for him they're pretty hard to stop.

And then I sent him out the door...feeling like the worst mother. Ever.

After he left I pleaded with the Lord to make it all better in his sensitive little heart and at that moment God revealed to me that the chaos of our morning was not just my boys fault for not listening...it was more mine, for not listening to my Heavenly Father. If I had...that lecture never would have began, I wouldn't have had to send my sweet boy off in tears.

Mommahood is tough. My idiotness sometimes makes it a lot more tough ;)

Starting fresh again today. It's 8:56 AM.

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