Enough Already...

I've been muttering Enough Already to my Jesus, all week long. But life around me reminds me that He alone decides what enough is. My understanding is small. My heart is hurting for my tiny-town and surrounding communities...so much so, that at times it feels debilitating. I find myself fighting against what is...and longing for what was. My emotions are literally all over the place. One minute I'm laughing, the next I'm sobbing, then I'm encouraged and ready accept the changes, and the next I'm grieving over what was, longing to just turn back time...I know that's part of the whole process...but it is exhausting!

I had big plans for this summer. I spent the long, freezing winter planning and dreaming of summer. The summer I dreamed of did not look like this...life changing forever was not in the plans. The thing that is bringing me the most peace right now, is worship music. It brings perspective back.

We're back at home now...we have electricity and the air conditioning works (YAY) but no gas...so no stove and no water heater = no hot water...but we can deal...I am so grateful to have a home to live in...many, many around me do not.

So...that's the update. Now, I should get on to the really, truly important stuff ;)

Here I mentioned the hair. Turns out, I threw caution to the wind and told her to chop it so it would be curly this summer. My stylist assures me that my the time fall comes around, I'll be able use my beloved hair straightener again. It has given me a bit of an identity crisis, knowing that I can't straighten it...it has to be curly for the next 3 months...I am embracing the curl...sort of.

My basement. Do not feel bad for me...I may have been a little giddy carrying all that junk out to the curb.

Ok, just one more...

Oh, but wait! In the midst of the flood...look what has poked its little head through....

No...the weed is from before...look at that little stemmy thingy...its the elephant's ear! Ben wanted to know if I wanted him to pull the weed before I took the picture...I told him definitely NOT, that my dear bloggy friends needed it as a point of reference :)

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I'm Back! Sort Of....

Oh My WORD!!! What day is it?!? That's the sort of week I've had :)

We were evacuated from our home Sunday afternoon because of the rising water. We've been staying with Ben's parents with NO COMPUTER AND NO INTERNET. And yes, I know you're wondering how I have survived without blogging...the answer is sugar and carbohydrates and NO running...I have 10 extra pounds to prove it...no worrie, I show ya pics later, HA! :)

My tiny-town is more than devastated...I can't even go into it yet. I thought the tornado was bad...but now the entire town has flooded and I have no words...just a sick feeling in my stomach. Please pray the amazing people here.

We just had a few feet of water in our basement, which considering what so many others are going through, is simply not a big deal.

I have pics I'll post later...

I have missed you ALL!!! And thank you for the emails...how nice to be loved :) Can I call you my fan club?!? You're all amazing.

Couple last things....AB - totally praying for you girlie :) Jamie - that blog idea sounds fantastic, you'll have to fill me in more :)

Love,

me

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Life Today...

Remember this post? Notice the date...since then we've had a EF5 tornado, and now the rain will not stop, meaning another flood. In that picture, the flood stage crested at 13.1 feet...today, they've announced that they expect it to crest at 14.5 feet by tomorrow afternoon...yikes. Rain is in the forecast all week long.


Are ya'll wondering why any of us live in tiny-town?!? *smiles* I have the reason...but I'm afraid it's a secret just shared amongst tiny-town citizens...if it gets out, then every ones gonna wanna come, and then I wouldn't be able to call it tiny-town anymore...and then everything would just be....ruined :) No worries tiny-town, your secret is safe with me ;)


Because of the flooding, most people were not able to make it into town for church, including two of our Sunday school teachers. As Pastor's wife, I'm a perfect fill-in...just give me a devotional book, old VBS coloring sheets, and pipe cleaners and I'm totally good to go.


As the kids were creating masterpieces with their pipe cleaners, I asked my son Eli, what he was making.


Here's our very spiritual conversation:


Me: "Hey Eli, whatcha making?


Eli: "A gun."


Me: "I'd rather you not make a gun in Sunday school"


Eli: "A gun for God?" Pause..."to fight Satan?"


Me: I figure that if he's witty enough to come up with THAT...then by all means, fire away my dear boy, fire away :)

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Number Three

My baby is three years old today...surprisingly enough, I have not cried yet (granted, it is only 8:30 am :) I think part of it is, he's just so much fun right now, that I really am just enjoying him.

Seriously, the stuff he comes up with...yesterday I walked out my back door to find this...

Umm...there used to be lovely white daisies attached to this plant...and after this post, ya'll know I have some trouble with foliage. Where were the lovely flowers?!? Here...in the grass.I knew who the culprit was...when I asked him, he had an excellent explanation...

"But I SAW-WEE!"

The butchering of the word sorry, gets me every time. I love you, little man.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Jakob!

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Gonna Do Better...

Yesterday was madness in the parsonage... I should have received the
Mommy Loser Award...if there is such a thing. Although, if you would have asked me yesterday, I would have totally blamed it on how wild and outta control my children were being. (In fact, if you talked to me in person yesterday...I did...sorry:)


I have read blog after blog from wonderful moms preparing themselves for summer...just jumping at the chance to have their kids home and spend time with them. Then there's me. I love summer...but I cringe a little bit at the chaos that comes from being with three little boys all the time :) I love them more than life...but it doesn't mean that they don't drive me a little bit crazy now and then ;) Yesterday is proof.


By last night I was already starting to feel the Holy Spirit's conviction about, well, basically my overall behavior yesterday. I realized that I need to switch to summer mode. I need to make a new routine with my children. I need to enjoy them. ENJOY them.


This morning I was reading one of my favorite, FAVORITE blogs. Stephanie is a mom to boys, and one beautiful little girl, and she's a few steps ahead of me in the mommy journey. I am learning so much through her sharing her journey...which is really what blogging is sort of about. I read several of her posts that she had written to her children and each one encouraged me to be a better mommy...starting now. Go give her some blog-love, you'll be a better mom for it. Oh, and take some Kleenex (unless you're unlike me and do not cry at everything :)

Today is Noah's last day of school...let the summer fun and chaos begin. I'm praying for God's guidance in figuring out our new summer groove :)

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I'll Eventually Get It...

Forgiveness. *sigh*...So much meaning is one little word. The concept is something that I think maybe I've always struggled with.


The dictionary definitions says..."To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon. To renounce anger or resentment against."


I get the definition....it's the putting it into practice deal that I get stuck on, sometimes.

In my head forgiveness looks like this:

1. Someone causes an offense: I get hurt, angry, resentful etc.


2. When they realize the offense (without me saying anything, of course) they immediately come to me, apologize and beg for mercy.


3. I, of course, forgive, and completely let it go


4. Restoration.

Why it looks like that in my head, I do not know. What I do know, is that 99% of the time that is not what forgiveness looks like. Forgiveness is messy, and hard. It does not fit neatly into 4 steps.

Most of the time, people will not even know they have hurt us. Most of the time, even if they know it, they will not make the first move or even admit wrong. Most of the time, I say I've forgiven, but I have not really let it go. And sometimes, forgiveness does not mean restoration. Hard stuff.

Here's what God is teaching me (over and over and over...eventually I'm bound to get it :)...

• I need to forgive, regardless of the other persons actions. Jesus didn't wait for me to get my act together before He offered me forgiveness.


• withdrawing my love and giving the silent treatment is not a healthy way to react and will definitely not help in forgiving or bringing restoration to a relationship. It will lead to bitterness.


• No amount of hurt someone causes me, personally, compares to my sin against God...yet He gave up His only son...for me.

OK, so now you get my freshest real life example...

I spent the last week being ticked at my little brother (whom I happen to adore.) He hurt me (unintentionally) and, being the mature grown-up that I am, I reacted by leaving him some sarcastic comments on Facebook and then withdrew. I know, try not to be too impressed by my high standard of maturity.

My hubby's sermon Sunday night was on forgiveness. Yeah. I heard God speaking to me LOUD and clear. It was time to do things differently.

This time, I knew I needed to share with him why I was hurt, and then let him know that I was going to forgive...let it go...for both of us. Can I tell you how much better that is than holding it in?!?

His response...unbelievable for a 19 year old. He left me a note on my wall of Facebook (which means everyone can see) apologizing. I, being me, bawled! Restoration...the way God designed it.

I pray that when the table is flipped, and I'm the one that needs to apologize, I can be the grown-up like him.

Man, God has His hands full with me...glad He is so, SO BIG! :)

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Brace Yourself...

I have lost my posting groove...if there is such a thing. I used to have a routine. Get the post out in the morning of the actual day. Now, I'm posting at the end of the day, and it's messing me all up. So, even though I just posted late last night...I'm gonna post again. HA! Lucky, lucky you.

Random point of interest *cough*

• My neighbor-friend called this morning and shared that she had washed her hubby's cell phone in the washer. I could sympathize...I have washed my own cell phone. (bad idea) After I hung up the phone with her I went to switch clothes from the washer to the dryer and found that I had, indeed, washed a dirty diaper along with the light colored clothing. Nice. I did what any perfect housekeeper would do....I took the dirty diaper out, and ran it again :) Isn't that why we paid all that money for that washing machine!?! To magically fix problems like that!?!


• You need a visual...

Yes...that is the washed-dirty diaper still on top...it was only #1 dirty...PHEW!

• I get my hair cut today. LOVE hair cut day. I contemplated getting it cut even shorter for summer, and letting it go curly...kinda like little orphan annie...well, sorta like that :)

But, considering I've been a little spacey since the tornado, I'm thinking it's best not to do anything too drastic right now. Just a trim. I'll have to think on the "Annie do." Which leads me to my 3rd random point....

• When I get to heaven and receive my perfect body...I've put in a request to have darker skin and a real Afro...just so you know, so you can recognize me :) (My husband is going to have a field day correcting all that theology there...I feel it's my God-given responsibility to keep him on his toes :)
  
  Carry on, bloggy friends, carry on...

(Annie Pic courtesy of google images)

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