Let it All Out

Just let me say it...I REALLY like Tuesdays. On Tuesdays I do NOT have to get up to run, do not have carpool duty and only have to get one child out the door for school. LOVE Tuesday! Another bonus, is that tonight we have Ladies Bible Study, which I always look forward to.



The lesson we will be discussing in Seeking Him, is on honesty. *Deep breath* A week ago, I posted this, about my journey. Today, I am so happy to say, that because of God's incredible grace and mercy upon me, I stand a little farther up that mountain. I am a long ways from the top (trust me.) The urge to give up and slide back down is still there...but today, the desire to obey Him and do this thing His way, is far greater. Did you hear that!?!? Greater! WOO HOO!



God has shown me that there is being real, and there is being REAL. He requires complete honesty from me. He has shown me that anything less simply will not do. He has also so lovingly brought it to my attention, that His way is not the scary-hard way...my way is. I have realized that I cannot say to Him, " I'll follow you in all these areas Lord, but this one...this one (little area) is mine...I can deal with it...my way." The reason, I've discovered, is that, that one small area that I chose to not hand over to Him, really was not small at all. These past couple of weeks are ones that will stay etched in my mind...what I've learned about mercy and grace and forgiveness is something I can't put into words. Something I don't want to put into words, but rather ponder it in my heart...over and over so that I don't forget it.



It's also made me think about how God gradually and precisely reveals to me the true condition of my heart. He doesn't throw it at me all at once. Most likely because He knows in my humanness, I would not be able to bear it. Instead, he lovingly hands me it, piece by piece, when He knows I am ready, and then shows me what to do with it. Simply amazing.

The whole lesson on honesty really was outstanding. There were a few things though, that just jumped off the pages at me.

1. "We don't have to be trained to hide or pretend - it comes naturally. Even after we are redeemed in Christ and the Holy Spirit takes up residence within us, we often battle the urge to deceive. But God cannot bless or revive a heart that refuses to acknowledge the truth." p.45



2. "If we feel we are innocent and have nothing to be broken about, it is not that these things are not there but that we have not seen them, We have been living in a realm of illusion about ourselves." Roy Hession

I don't want to live in that realm of illusion ever again. This is one of those things where "good enough" will not do.

Father God, "thank you" seems so inadequate...(but you know my vocabulary is small) my heart cannot find words that seem, enough. Help me not to forget these lessons you have taught me, and give me the strength I need to continue on this path you have set me on. I know that on my own I will wander off...almost immediately. Help me not to be self deceived. Give me wisdom and discernment. I pray the same thing for each of the ladies in this study...and my friends in bloggy- land. Draw them close to you, Lord. I ask all of this in His Precious name...

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Big Important Decisions...

Hebrews 11:1 " What is faith? It is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen. It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us, even though we cannot see it up ahead."

It's a verse I've heard a bazillion times...but today, it was fresh. Gotta love that.

This week I get to go to the dentist (barf) and get my hair cut (YAY!)...I know...it is an exciting life I lead. Here is my dilemma. Do I get my hair cut the same OR is it time for a change. I'm thinking maybe (for summer) I should go a little shorter and just let it do it's thing..which is wild, uneven curls that drive me insane. Hmmmm....see the dilemma!?! Straightening iron = pain in the butt. White girl's afro also = pain in the butt. Help me.

I really should go get something done...there are four beds upstairs that desperately need their sheets washed...I won't tell you how desperately. And besides...I'm rambling.

Happy Monday!!!

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The Time I Waste...

You'd think after the "loafers" incident, I would learn not to take these quizzes, but, as you can see..."some people gotta learn the hard way" (I'm quoting DC Talk there...but that is a whole other post) Anyways...the only statement that is completely true is...I AM addicted to caffeine...I will not deny it. There...I said it. And now...I wish I had a real latte.

What Your Latte Says About You

You are easygoing and pretty simple to please. You don't put up a fuss... ever. You can be quite silly at times, but you know when to buckle down and be serious. Intense and energetic, you aren't completely happy unless you are bouncing off the walls. You're addicted to caffeine. There's no denying it. You are a child at heart, and you don't ever miss the opportunity to do something playful. You are deep and thoughtful, but you are never withdrawn.

What Does Your Latte Say About You?

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Is it Monday Yet?

It has been an eventful few days for us. So much so, that I don't know how to post about it...except for a bullet point list, with pictures, of course.

• It has been raining A LOT. We are all tired of it...but can't seem to stop talking about it.
• Saturday at 4:30 AM we awoke to the sounds of sirens. They were meant to notify our tiny town that it was filling with water. As I peered out the front windows of our home, in the dark, all I could see was water. Not touching us...but surrounding our neighbors homes just one block south of us. I, of course, did the most helpful thing....I cried. Like a baby. For them...and the mess...and the feeling of helplessness. So helpful. After a cup of coffee I was finally able to pull myself together enough to pray (while crying.)
• The sun is shining today...and the water is receding, and the amazing people of my tiny town will clean up, and go about life as usual. I have much to learn from them.
• We helped my parents move to a new home this weekend. It was a long, tiring day, but lots of fun too...all hanging out together. There was lots of laughter...especially when my sister told me that she heard from mom that I signed up for a marathon. WHAT?!? My mom had read on my blog about the race, I signed up for....she apparently missed the FOUR mile part of the race :) HA! She now has to go back to work and tell everyone that her daughter is NOT running a 26.2 mile race...but a FOUR mile race! It's OK, it's happened to her before. Once, when my teenage brother bought one of those little Fiaro cars...she told the ladies at work he bought a "Ferrari." Once she realized her blunder, she understood why they had all looked at her so strangely :) What teenager buys a Ferrari?!? Cracks me up...love you mom :)

More proof that boxes are better than toys.

This is my sweet little niece, Maddy...just had to throw in the pic so you can all see how cute she is.

That's our weekend in a nutshell. Now...I seriously need a nap.

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I Can Take A Hint...

I love checking email in the morning. For some reason, logging on and seeing all those messages is pure joy...it is also how I know I am a big dork. This morning I found this message, on Facebook, from one of my bestest friends and sis-in-law...

"O.K. I am at work and just checked out your blog for the first time. I am not on the clock by the way!! Why in the world haven't you mentioned me, the all important sister in law that set you up with Ben and sacrificed my relationship with you for several pitiful years to make you two happy. I expect to see a blog about me soon. Your readers deserve to know how important I am to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ha ha love reba"

Ummm...notice that she said she just checked it out for the FIRST time. I'll let it slide...this time :) She is right though...she deserves a post!

Here is us at Easter. I have a photo album filled with pictures of us, since the age of 15, in this exact same pose.

We met in Junior High, which is when our two towns join up for school. She was from the tinier town, which makes the adjustment for those kids a little harder. Girls like me did not help. I think I have blocked-out most of the events, but Rebecca remembers them all :) I was mean. She wanted to be in our "group" and I didn't want her to be. I made sure she was aware of this fact. In my defense, I had not yet met Jesus in a personal way...so I acted like a heathen :) Still to this day, I am apologizing for being so mean.

Then, in 9th grade, we sat by each other in Chorus. Why I went out for chorus, I will never know. I can't carry a tune to save my life...I have no idea what I was thinking. It was also the around the same time that I had met Jesus in a new way...a life changing way. I still had lot's of questions about the Bible, and Rebecca had grown up in a gospel-preaching church. She had answers for me...and this time, the friendship worked.

It also happened, that a few months into our new friendship, her older brother happened to catch my eye. (Read here for further details.) I was horrified to find out that Rebecca had actually told him that I thought he had a cute rear-end...but without her, I highly doubt we would have ever dated! I owe her. Dating your friend's brother is a tad difficult on a friendship. It was pretty rocky for a few years. But we survived, and for many, MANY years now, our friendship just keeps getting better and better! To know her, is to love her! She is hysterical. She continually makes me laugh...the kind of laugh that makes your stomach hurt.

I love looking back and seeing God's hand in it. There's no doubt in my mind that He was/is the one orchestrating all the details. He knew what the future held...He knew we would need each other. Rebecca, thank you for your friendship, it is priceless to me! And again...so sorry about Junior High...did I mention I didn't know Jesus then?!? :)

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Adjustable

I need to be upfront with ya'll today. I have tried and tried to come up with something other than what I am going to blog about today. But I can't get it out of my head. So, I figure, if I just post about it, maybe it will leave. Maybe.

What could be so important and fascinating that I just can't stop thinking about it?
Adjustable Waist Jeans.

Yep...you read it right. As I got my two year old dressed today...I did the same thing I do every day...I lifted praise to God for adjustable waist jeans. It's true...I happen to think they're genius.

Today though...it went further. I thought to myself, why just the kids jeans?!? I know they have them in khakis for men...but why not my favorite jeans from Express?!?! On those days, when I'm feeling a little extra bloated *ahem* I could just loosen that little elastic band with the button and no one would even know!!!

It would totally obliviate the need for my fat jeans. You know the ones. They're the nice old jeans, a size (or 2) bigger than the regular ones, saved especially for those days. I think I'm on to something...if anyone knows a designer at Express...please fill them in :) I'm just sayin'...

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Sign Me Up

Oh bloggy friends...I have just officially signed up for my first race on May 10th. Now, before you get too excited, I should tell you that it is only a 4 mile race :) For the under-achiever living in me....that is perfection! There is also coffee and bagels at the end...yeah...like I said, perfection. It's Heth's fault, really. She made it sound so fun that I couldn't resist. She also mentioned the coffee...a lot.

I have talked my other friend, Jenni, into running with me (at a slacker pace, of course) I have set my goals low, so that I may achieve them! Run without dying...that's my goal. I think that's a good first race goal. Heth will probably have enjoyed a pot of coffee and 2 bagels and be back home before I cross the finish line...she's a speedy little thing. Can I officially call myself a "racer" cause seriously...that's just funny.

I started running a year ago in January. I happened to be eating (at McDonalds) with a new friend and she mentioned she ran. For some strange reason, I did something totally out of character and blurted out that we should run together! I left McDonald's that day and headed out and bought new running shoes. So unlike me. I say it's out of character because I seriously do not enjoy running...never have. I ran cross country and track my freshman and sophomore years in high school (for social reasons) and despised the running the whole time.

Now, we run together 3 mornings a week at 6 AM. Every time the alarm goes off, I think to myself..."you are crazy." Every. Single. Time. But knowing that she is going to be waiting outside, gets me out of my nice warm bed. Afterwards...I'm always glad I did it. But getting out of bed, never gets easier. Never.

I still do not enjoy running. *Smiles* People say you get "bit" by it...but I haven't :) I love chatting with my friend while I run...and it really is a good stress reliever, but the actual running...I am not in love with. But, like it or not...I need it. My clothing tells me I need it...because when I stop running...somehow the dryer shrinks all my clothes! That's my theory.

What does training look like for a slacker runner, you ask!?! It means I have to actually be putting in 4 miles at a time :) That's pretty much it. Oh, and it also involves one of these cute little numbers...

A running skirt! This isn't actually a picture of me in mine..it's from google images:) Mine is just plain gray...and I haven't had a chance to wear it yet...but I'm sure it will help me run faster and longer on race day...I'm sure of it.

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