In the process of revival, this is where I started. At the bottom of a gigantic mountain. I knew it would be tough, but my optimism was high.
This is where I find myself now...
Part way up the mountain and finding the climb tiring and seemingly impossible. The point in the hike when you look up and see the huge rocks yet to climb...and then look down so see how far you've climbed. And it's decision time. Keep going, though it seems impossible, or turn around, slide back down and wonder what might have been. I won't lie...the urge to slide back down and go about life is extremely tempting.
The mountain seems impossible. Feels impossible. I am not kidding when I say it will take a miracle to move some of the mountains. A big miracle.
I find myself running back to God's word...for (constant) re-assurement that the miracles I need are really possible. You know what I find? They are. My God is a big God...bigger than any of these mountains. I just need to believe it and carry on with what He has called me to. It's not about how I feel...or how things seem to be. No more turning around and running back down the mountain. It's all the way this time.
I may have mentioned (a few hundred times) that I do not really enjoy cooking. Granted, there have been times when I sort of get on a cooking "kick"...but it is seldom and short lived. I think I've narrowed it down to why...
It makes a mess. All I do is clean up messes...why would I want to create another one?
I do not enjoy buying groceries. The lists, the kids in the store, forgetting stuff, menus, unloading groceries etc. If I cook...I use up the groceries...thus having to return to the store. :)
My kids pretty much never like anything good that I make.
My children turn into wild animals when I try to cook. Trying to kill each other, or constantly getting into things they shouldn't.
I am convinced that one can live on cheese quesadillas, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and pizza...along with a Flintstones Vitamin. :)
So...they're not verygood reasons...but nonetheless, they are my reasons.
However...the other night I was hungry for these:
Kabobs :) ...Marinated. I know, I know, you're now way impressed that I marinated (for 8 hours) and cut up all that stuff AND put it on skewers. I myself, was quite impressed. Impressed enough to take a picture, HA! They were delicious and healthy...my kids of course only ate a little bit and then proceeded to stab each other with the skewers....but that is another post.
Here is the marinade recipe if you're interested: 1/3 C olive oil, 1/4 C lemon juice, 1 tsp minced garlic, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp dried rosemary, 1/2 tsp lemon pepper. YUM :)
We all have them...best friends that we've lost contact with. It happens. It's life. You say it will never happen to you...but it does.
Yesterday, I had the chance to reconnect with my very best friend growing up. Laurin and I became friends in 3rd grade. Our moms' decided that we should walk home (to my house) together after school. We were not crazy about this idea...we didn't care much for each other. It took some time and I don't know when it happened, but it did. We became friends...inseparable friends...all the way through high school.
Most all of my memories growing up include her and her family. Our personalities were opposite of each other. She was quiet and I was more outgoing. She was extremely intelligent and driven (now has her PHD in heart disease research) and I was just an average student and a bit of an under-achiever. But together, our friendship just...worked.
*notice my mullet...with a perm...lovely. I also think I'm wearing Laurin's shirt...I borrowed her clothes constantly! *
We had not seen each other for years...and its been even longer since we've just sat down to chat and catch up. Yesterday, as we sat and visited for two hours, its as if no time had gone by. She'll always be on my best friends list. I can't explain it. No matter the time, or how much we grow and change...the history is the same. Nothing can change it. I still adore her :)
* This is us as Sophomores. It was a prom. Look at her beautiful- naturally curly- red hair. I am still jealous of it...and of my sophomore body :) *
We've now swapped email addresses, and plan on keeping in touch better. Sometimes its that initial first step of reconnecting that's the most awkward...but now, we're back :) If you have those friends...long lost friends...find them...it's SO worth it!
It's been one of those mornings...again. Amidst the craziness, my mind is constantly trying to find something "bloggable" about it all. Nothing. Nothing very original anyways.
So I sat down with my Cheerios, Bible, Sansa, and ginormous mug of coffee, and handed it over to God. Finally. And He took me to two things simultaneously. Both are things I've read/heard countless times...but today, I heard them differently.
The first was in John 17. It's the passage where Jesus is praying and pouring out his heart to his heavenly father. There's something about it that is so intimate...and amazing. Today, I was plugging along and then got to verse 10. It so struck my heart that I sobbed. Immediately! Now...I'm a crier...I cry easily, but not usually like this. God hit me with this.
V10 (The Living Bible) " And all of them, since they are mine, belong to you; and you have given them back to me with everything else of yours, and so they are my glory!"
...we are His glory...I am His GLORY!?!? What? I thought this version must have it wrong, so I pulled out my NIV, and it pretty much said the same idea. Wow. Today, He hit me with just what I needed...that awesome reminder of how HUGE His love is for me. He knows me inside and out...all the ugly stuff, and still...because I'm covered in Him....I bring Him glory. Something to think about...
The second thing that made my heart stop, was the song Suddenly by Toby Mac. I've heard it a million times...I love it, but today it's as if I heard it differently. It's a fun song...and then suddenly, in the middle, it changes a little and there's this huge block of amazing truth...and it hit me today!
Here it is...
"Sometimes it’s in an instant, Sometimes we wait for years
But it comes down to the moment when faith eclipses fear
Your wandering is over The other side is real
You’ve broken through Your mountain moved
And mercy is revealed His mercy is revealed, yeah "
This hits on so many areas in my life right now. Faith eclipsing fear. His mercy revealed.
In case you want to hear the song, here it is. Fair warning: video and sound quality are not the greatest, but you'll get the idea :) I wish I could have you all over, to my mini-van...then we could ride around my tiny town listening to Toby Mac, while my children cover their ears and beg me to turn it down. Good times.
Yesterday's post on the quirkiness of my tiny town has got me thinking. Every tiny town has its quirks...its part of what makes them so wonderful. I am, of course, biased, but I happen to think that my tiny town is one of the absolute best.
I grew up is a small town (only about 20 minutes from the tiny town I live in now.) The town I grew up in was about 10,000 people. It had a private college, Wal-Mart, 2 grocery stores, fast food and lots of pizza places. I loved growing up there...until high-school...when I decided in all my infinite knowledge...that I was meant to live in the city. I came to this conclusion after endless nights of sitting around with friends, trying to think of something to do!
After Ben and I got married, we immediately moved up to Minneapolis, MN so he could go to seminary. I loved the city. I especially loved shopping in the city. And then...it happened. I had my first baby about 3 years into our stay there...and I was ready to head back to the small town.
It's not that there was anything wrong with the city...it was the simple fact that I am a small town girl, through and through. Little did I know how small town I really am!!! Had you told me, in high school, that I would eventually live in a smaller town, I would have given you a hearty "what- Ever." It turns out, I'm not just a small-town girl...I'm a tiny town girl. A "population of 637 people" tiny town, (according to the US Census Bureau.) I happen to think that the town is a tad bigger than that...but who am I to argue with The Bureau.
What on earth can possibly be so fantastic about this town?!? (I know you're dying to find out)
Here are just some of things that make it great...
My neighbors. Especially Marlas (& her fam.) We car-pool, swap kids, and she even puts up with having to look at all the toys that get left all over our yard :) She also grew up in this tiny town, and was kind enough to introduce me to lots of people. I still call her to ask who is who and how they're connected to so and so (because everyone here is connected somehow!) She helped me, in all my weirdness, to feel like I fit in, and that it priceless!
Everyone that lives in town has a PO Box rather than getting mail delivered to your home (unless you live on Main St. I think) Anyways, everyday I go and get to run into people at the post office...usually the same people, because, apparently we're on the same schedule :)
The post office is closed from 12-2. I'm not quite sure why. It just is.
We have a bank, library, tiny cafe, and a hardware store (which is run by my other neighbor.) People can smoke in the hardware store...but not in the bank or library.
We did have a bar...but it closed. I don't care for bars, so it made me *smile*
On Main St...you park in the center of the road. But only on Main St. I really need to get a pic of that...
3 churches. Ours is the little one, across from the big one...that's generally how I give directions :)
The school system is AWESOME! We combine with another small town and so far I love it. I had always told Ben, that if we were within an hour of our home town, that I would drive our kids to that school :) Well, we're 20 minutes, but I have no urge to open enroll, and that says something :)
The town floods. It used to flood much worse...but now there's a dike so its not as bad. People from other towns like to joke about it...I like to launch into a lengthy explanation of the dike that was built :) We live on "Water Street"...but we don't get water...Praise God!
We're only 10 minutes from a small city...and 20 minutes to get into the city to Starbucks. That is important.
I frequent the gas station on a daily basis, for bread, milk and cheap bananas. And donuts, but lets not talk about that.
The people are just...kind. Everyone waves to everyone, and you chat like you're friends...even if you've just met.
There's so much more...but this is getting way too long...you get the idea!
In the end...I know that my true love for this town is something supernatural that God has done in my heart. There are no logical explanations for the love. It is simply that this is where He has called us to minister to His people...this is where He's made us fit. I am so crazy-thankful for that!
Wife to Ben, who also happens to be the Pastor of a sweet little church in a tiny little town. Mama to three boys and little Lucy. We live in the parsonage, 27 steps from said little church. This is the journey...it involves lots of run-on sentences.
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