Sometimes I can't get something out of my head. Many times, it's annoying, useless type stuff, but other times, I really think it's God trying to teach me something (most of the time it's the same stuff over and over...apparently I'm a slow learner.) Last week, in our adult Sunday School, there was a question in our book, that asked us to name three words that describe our personality. Silence. It's hard! Try it! It doesn't seem like it should be difficult...but as words came to mind, I realized they were representative of me, but not necessarily my personality. As I looked around the room, I could think of all kinds of wonderful descriptive words for the others, but not myself. This has been bugging me. Why am I not able to narrow it down to three words that wrap up my personality?!? So...this has got me thinking about other people's personality's (because that's what I do when I don't want to deal with myself, of course:) As I look at my kids, it's so evident that they are each born with unique personalities. We each have a unique "bent" we were born with, but what seems even more evident is the choices that we've made and how they've shaped us. I know people whose personalities seemed to change because of choices. Unforgiveness=bitterness, fear=insecurity etc.
I also realized that there are definite personalities that I am drawn to...something about them that makes me want to emulate them. I also know that personalities rub off on me...I've hung around with people whose sort of toxic personalities changed mine...and it took awhile for me to figure out who I really was again. It's how I learned that if I truly want to posses the kind of qualities that I admire, then I have to be drawing closest to the one I admire most...Jesus. I can truthfully say, that my personality aside from Him, not lovely. On my own, I am critical, unloving, and a whole list of other junk that is less than appealing. At times, when I've walked away from Him, and gone it on my own...my personality immediately reverts back to those qualities. Unfortunately, during those times, I'm a poor representative of the miraculous transformation He has done in me. How amazing that no matter what I've done, He still welcomes me back, brushes me off, and gently reminds me of who I really am.
When I am drawing close to Him...my personality becomes like Him. I realized that those qualities that I am drawn to in others, are actually really just Jesus in them! When people meet me, or know me, I want them to see Jesus in me...yeah, they may not know who they're seeing...but I do, and more importantly, so does my savior. So, I still don't have a list of three that describe me...maybe I'm afraid to know :) But here's the three that I WANT to describe my personality...
1) Loving..the real kind...the sacrificial kind
2) Authentic/Real/Genuine (counting that as 1 word:)
3) Charming...my friend Beth used this word, and I love it! One of my favorite verses that I am forever going back to was said by John the Baptist (whom I happen to adore because he was a bit of an odd duck himself :) John 3:30 "He must increase and I must decrease." So, so, true.