I Remembered Today!

Oops.  I missed blogging this weekend.  Like, I didn't even remember. At all.

The office is painted.  YAY!  And I will post pictures as soon as I put the finishing touches on.  

We've been dragging anyone who stops by through the office so we can show them.  I may be the only person so excited about gray.*jazz hands*

So.  Yesterday I SHOULD have posted that one year ago I was doing THIS.

It was such an amazing experience.  It deserves a One Year Anniversary Post.  

I hope to do it again. Sometime.  But for now, my priority list is full of other people and stuff.  So running will just be for fun...not for training.  And by "fun" I mean I haven't ran in 3 weeks...or so.

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Let's Catch Up...

Let's just sorta ignore the fact that I took a 3 1/2 month break from blogging, sound good?  I thought so.

Lot's has happened, and much has stayed the same.  Life is tricky like that. (but my love of run-on sentences is still strong. Sorry not sorry.)

Let's bullet for old times sake:

• Lucy turned 4 in April.  Noah turned 13 in May. Jake turned 9 last week. Eli is still 11, but now has glasses.  
  
   
• School is out and we are in full swing of Summer.  Which is actually as busy as the school year, but a different kind of busy so we are sucking-out every ounce of fun and warmth that it has to offer.  I did stay in bed til 8 this morning...so it's not that busy.
• I am in week 1 of a 12 week training plan for my second half-marathon.  Last year I did a 20 week training plan.  Pffff.  Apparently I think 12 weeks is going to cut it this time.  We shall see.  I've likely deceived myself.  
• I got my hair cut super short.  Pixie time.  So in the hair department, much has changed since last June.  It's super easy and super fun to have something different. And super easy.  (Super is such a great word, I love to over-use it.)  I am amazed at how many ladies tell me they would "love to do it, but just couldn't."  Umm:  Yes you can.  It's simple really.  1. Scroll through Pinterest for hours 2. Show your stylist the pic 3. Done.  Be brave people, you can do it.  (But don't tell your husband I said so...)
•  I have leaned so much in the past 6 months about ministry and living life as a follower of Jesus.  So much.  And in the midst of it, it didn't seem appropriate to share...but now, I think it is.  It has required some bravery that I wasn't quite sure I was capable of.  And I'm not.  But Christ in me, is completely capable.  Different songs have become anthems for me.  Here's a link to one of them. 
• Julie graduated college in May.  And part of her family came from Norway to visit and stay with us and they were so very lovely. And then she flew back to Norway.  *sob* And I miss her.  But she will be back.  (this is not necessarily confirmed, but nothing is impossible soooo it' s how I cope.  It's working.) 
• Ok, so that's that.  
  
  I sat down at the computer yesterday and opened up a Word doc to write down some specific thoughts on something.  And the writing...it felt gooood.  Writing and running = good cheap therapy.  
  
  I haven't met anyone yet who couldn't use some of that. ;)
  
  So, my internet friends, what have you been up to?  *tapping the mic*  Beuller?  Beuller?  

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I Ran...

So my race has been done for a week.  My intention was to write about it last Monday.  The problem was, that it was such a great experience that I'm not quite sure I can do it justice in words, so instead of writing, I just keep re-playing it in my head.  But it's not safe there...my memory is unreliable.  I mean, if I don't write it down now, how is Ben going to read it back to me when I'm old and can't remember anything?

Here goes more details than any person (other than me) could possibly want to read.  

The race was a couple hours from tiny town, and since it was my first big race, and first half marathon, I really wanted to have Ben and the kids along with me.  So Ben found someone to fill pulpit, we took the dog to the kennel, and we headed out of town on Saturday.  

On the way there, all crammed into our mini van, we tried to explain that this weekend was "all.about.mom."  It's a foreign concept.  We talked about all their sports practices I drive them to, and wait at, and pick them up from.  All the games, events, and stuff that is all about them.  So for two days, this was about mom and her race.  Their blank stares should probably have given us fair warning, but let's just say that Ben and I spent most of Saturday wondering why on earth we thought it was a good idea to haul along our four kids to this thing.  Seriously.

When we got into the city we filed through two different restaurants that were either too busy or too weird for us to eat at.  By the third one we were starving and crabby...but it turns out Outback Steakhouse can make everything better.   I tried to eat light, so that nothing would bother my stomach for the next day.  The kids were anxious to get to the hotel, because truthfully the trip was all about the pool for them.  So we did one of the things we do best:  Have the same conversation 5 million times.  

"When are we going to the hotel?"
"This weekend is about Mom, not the hotel."
"When are we going to the hotel?"
"We still have to go to the expo."
"What's an expo?"
*insert explaining an expo 500 times*
"What's an expo?"

I'm not even kidding.

After Outback we headed to Starbucks for a does of sanity and then back to the downtown area to the expo where there would be different vendors and where I needed to pick up my packet of information.  

The expo was really fun.  For me.  I bought a new bondi band (I love those things) and a bigger/stretchier fanny pack (for fuel and phone.)  The director of the race was giving a presentation, and so we all sat and listened to him talk about the course and they also had time for questions.  I love that sort of thing.  And the kids endured well.  I think the expo helped the kids start to see that this race thing, really was sort of a big deal.  

I remember the girl at the bondi band station asking me what I was running and how I felt.  I remember telling her it was my first half and "I'm ready!" and she smiled and said, "That's a good sign, you'll do great!"  It was reassuring.

We headed to our hotel, which is one we love, and then headed to the pool where I mostly just sat in the hot tub. Don't worry, I made sure not to get any water in my mouth because *nasty* and I could NOT have anything messing with my intestines.  For real.  

For my last long run a couple weeks prior, I had ate pizza for supper the night before, and the run went well.  So pizza was the plan.  We found the name of a cute little pizza place in the hotel menu thing, and then proceeded to get kind of lost finding it.  In the mean time, Lucy took a good 30 minute nap in the van...it was a much needed break, but we paid for it later when she didn't want to go to bed.  The pizza ended up being amazing.  The kids behavior: Not so much. 

As we tried to tuck everyone into bed that night, two kids on the floor, the other two in a full size bed complaining about touching one another, I just thought to myself...tomorrow will be worth it.  I hope. 

The race start time was 8 AM.  My alarm went off at 5:50, but I was already awake.  We got dressed and shuffled everyone along, snagging some breakfast-to-go from the hotel lobby.  I nibbled on a pumpkin bagel from Panera, and a little coffee.  I had stayed very hydrated the days before, and I didn't want to over-hydrate in the morning because it was only in the thirty's for temperature and I was trying to avoid porta potty's.  *nasty*

My brother has an apartment down in the area of the race.   My parents had stayed over-night with him, so the plan was to drop the kids off with them while Ben went with me to get settled in before the start of the race.  I'm so thankful he was there.   We kept laughing about how neither of us really had a clue what we were doing, where we should park, or where we were going.  There was an open YMCA located just beside of the start line, and many of the runners were hanging out in there to stay warm.  We found a corner, and sort of people watched.  I decided that maybe I needed to use the bathroom (if I could find it.)  The line was forever long, so I told Ben I would be fine on my own and he could head back to get the kids and my parents and brother. I also handed off my phone, which meant I was officially on my own.

I kept watching the clock.  It was about 20 minutes to race time, and I was still pretty far back in line.  I listened in to other people's conversations...it was a little weird being by myself...but good at the same time.  As I got into the locker room, I found out there were two flushing toilets and one non-flushing.  The hard-core people were going to the short line with the non-flusher.  There was not a chance I was doing that.  I am not hard core.  I ended up getting to the start line with a good 7 minutes to spare.  I had overcome the first hurdle. 

There are pace markers that you can line up with, and my plan was to run the first several miles well below my goal time.  Starting slow is key for me.  It's how I trained.  Negative splits.  I lined up with the 10:30 per mile pace and waited.  The race had over 10,000 athletes, and it was a sea of brightly colored people everywhere.  There was a nervous excitement in the air.  They played the national anthem and I got a little choked up.  All the training, all the lonely runs, mile after mile were all for these coming moments.  

We all started inching forward, kind of starting and stopping again until getting to the start line.  I was in the middle of the road, and kept checking my pace on my watch.  It felt like I was running slow, because people on both sides were passing me by, but my watch said 9:00 and that was way too fast.  I kept slowing and slowing and s-l-o-w-i-n-g.  In my head I was silently telling all of them "I'll pass you later." That adrenaline is powerful.  But running is as much or more about your brain than your body. I needed to stick to my plan.

The first few miles were all down-town and it went quickly.  Lot's of people had signs and were cheering.  I had my headphones on but it was still awesome to watch them.  At mile 2.5 a man held a sign that said "Smile if you've peed yourself."  It made me smile, because if you've peed yourself at mile 2.5 then it's gonna be a long race. 

I knew my family would be waiting around mile 4 somewhere.  And as we got closer to mile 4 the Elite half-marathoners were starting to come back from the loop and we got to see them, and others runners cheered them on.  It choked me up again.  I love runners.

Lucy and her cow bell

Waiting.  My brother wants me to wear a cape next time so I'm easier to spot. My mom is the one taking pictures with her ipad.  Thanks Mom :)  

I saw my family and their signs, and it was awesome.  I knew I would see them again in the same spot around mile 8.  I ran conservatively until about mile 6 and I knew I was feeling really good (from going out slow) so I started picking up the pace slightly.  I drank a few sips of water at about every station, just because.  It helped, and I ended up using less fuel (honey stingers) than I had in practice, simply because I had more access to fluids, I think.  There were bands and people playing guitars throughout the race.  I tried to pause my ipod to take a quick listen every now and then.  

At mile 8 I saw my family again.  So fun.  Ben was trying to take a picture with the camera, and catch up to me so he was running along the side...kinda like a crazy guy.  At one point he hurdled the cable fence.  So I smiled awkwardly at him. :)

5 miles left to go, and I knew I wouldn't see my family again until the finish.  I felt great, and continued to increase my pace.  Weaving in and around people was a good distraction.  Passing people felt pretty good too. At mile 10ish, my family surprised me by being in the crowd and once again, tears.  Seeing their faces and signs was such an encouragement.  

The last couple of miles seemed long to my brain.  My body felt good, and I didn't check my current pace, but I knew my average pace was getting faster.  I only train with my average pace and not current pace and I didn't want to mess with my head by doing anything differently.  It wasn't until I got home to hook my watch to the computer that I would be able to see my splits.  As the finished line approached, I kept thinking "Just keep running, just keep running..."  

I finished strong.  I felt great.  I found my family and chatted about the race.  They knew from my smiles when I saw them during the race that I must have felt pretty good.   After we took some pictures and I got in line for the free food.  I was able to shower and get ready at my brother's and then we headed to the mall.  Because shopping.  We also ate at Champps.  Obviously.

My goal for this first one was to finish in 2:15 or less and no walking.  I finished in 2:14:10 with no walking.  Yay!  My other goal was to enjoy the experience, rather than endure it.  Which is sometimes hard for me in life and in running.  I enjoyed that race.  Every single nugget of it.  

I learned some important things that I can only learn from experience racing.  Things I want to remember for the next one.  One, is that I could have kicked it in gear a little faster a little earlier.  My first few miles were in the 10:40 range, they progressively got faster with my 13th mile being a 9:17 pace.  I'm already setting goals for the next one, but I seriously could not have asked for a better first race!

I told my friend and running mentor, Heather, that the week after the race sort of felt like "the day after Christmas."  All that planning and then *poof* over.  But the running continues.  I could barely move the day after the race, I was so sore.  After a couple days I was fine, and Thursday morning I hit the road again.  The cold, dark, lonely road,  and couldn't help but feel like a warrior still.  For months, the race was the motivating factor for getting out there.  But Thursday morning, that was just for running.  And this morning, when I did 5, and it felt great, and kinda like a warm-up...well that felt pretty great too.

And it turns out, it was totally worth hauling the kids along.  A mom of boys will tell you, that boys seem to automatically look-up to and respect their daddy.  And while I know they love me dearly, I never quite posses that hero-status that Dad does.  But I think I surprised them this race.  I think they realized their mom is a whole lot stronger and tougher than they might have given her credit for...and managing to impress my boys hearts like that is pretty sweet.  The medal helps too.

Towards the end of the race, someone had a sign that read, "The person that starts the race, is not the same person that finishes the race."  And I love that.  So very true.

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Dream On

I'm not generally a dreamer.  At night nor during the day.  I mostly drop into bed and I'm out until my alarm clock or Lucy rudely wake me up. But let life give me a little something to be a tiny bit anxious about and then I become a dreamer.

Right before my wedding, ages ago, I kept having dreams that my teeth were crumbling and falling out.  Over and over I'd have the same dream.  I think it has something to do with stress.  I wasn't stressed over marrying Ben, but rather all the details of a wedding.  Bleh.

The past week I keep having race dreams.  It's like the classic dream where you're late to class, or can't find your class, or get you locker open.  Except it's the running version.  Where I'm at the race but I'm not in my running clothes or the race is starting and I can't find the Start line-up and no matter how I try I just.can't. get.there.  

It's dumb, really.  

I wake up in the morning and feel tired.  Dreaming makes me tired.  That's why I like to stick to realism.    It's brutal, but at least I can sleep.

On a basically unrelated note:  I fell in a pothole this morning during my last taper run.  It is super dark in tiny-town in the mornings and it's not the most well-lit.  I try to wear neon shirts and I bought a little light to wear on my collar and reflector wrist bands.  I sort of think the little light just confuses drivers rather than making me more visible.  It's like they're so distracted trying to figure out where the little light is coming from that they sort of drive right towards me.  The pothole got in my way as I was trying to jump the curb.  The benefit of thick ankles:  Ya just keep on running.  

I need a break from tiny-town drivers.  And they need a break from me.

  

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Just Run...

In three days I run my first half-marathon.  13.1 miles.  Yeow.

Tomorrow will be my last run before the race and will wrap up 20 weeks of training.  t-w-e-n-t-y.  Our base mileage was crap to start with so that's why we did a 20-week plan.  Four years ago I trained for one, and then ended up pregnant and barfing weeks before the race so I was unable to run it.  My good friend and running partner, Billie had to run it by herself. You can read about it here if you'd like.

Apparently it took 4 years for me to be willing to do it again.  And to talk Billie into it.  She joked about making me sign a contact saying I wouldn't get pregnant.  I promised, and I'd like to go on record as saying I held up my end of the deal. Awesome.

We trained so well.  So much better than last time.  I'm not sure why, but it was just better.  Our pace was faster, our endurance stronger, even our attitude was better.  I learned that I can run on my own.  Our schedules this Summer and Fall didn't match and so it forced me out there alone.  And that was good.  Very good.

Until September anyway, when Billie injured a muscle in her leg.  For a few weeks we held out hope that she would still be able to run/walk it.  But eventually denial gives way to truth.  And you have a good cry and then suck it up, and realize you can and will do things on your own.  I'm a big girl now. (did you sing it to the pull-up's commercial tune? Oh I hope so)

On long runs, I wrote some really moving and meaningful posts about running. They never actually made it to the computer, because the rest of my life gets in the way.  Which means:  I didn't make time for it.

But sitting here, three days out from the longest I've ever run in my entire life AND my first big race, there's some things I want to remember.  My future may or may not hold more half-mary's, but one thing is certain.  I only have a "first one" once.    

• Running is a head game.  You train your body, and slowly and steadily it responds.  The brain is much harder to train.  It's hard-wired for comfort. Every time I run I have to re-direct my thoughts to "stop running this is such a dumb idea" to "you can and will do this and you are not going to die."
• It has made me stronger physically, but it has also made me stronger mentally and emotionally.  It has helped put fear in perspective.  Because if I can run for two hours straight I can most certainly handle dealing with un-lovely people, amen?  
• Running for me is always directly linked to spiritual things.  Every step and breath comes from my creator.  To get stronger physically, I must endure painful, painful training.  Some runs feel amazing, and others are miserable, and each teaches me something.  If I want a closer walk with God, I must go after it.  Commit.  And if I want to be more like Him, then it's gonna take some painful training. Painful endurance.  I do not get to be a spiritual giant if I'm unwilling to be trained.
• This past year, outside of running, I have felt pushed passed my limits by people.  On long runs, when I was pushing past miles that I previously thought impossible God whispered you can endure. Not on my own, but because of Him, I can.
• Runner's know that the person you compete against is yourself.  I'm not comparing myself to other runners, I'm comparing myself against my Nike gps watch.  That's what I love about it.  We all get to push and encourage and strive to be better.  We get to cheer each other on and celebrate victories.  We make light of the bad runs because they happen to everyone and anticipate the next run will be better.  Shake it off, get back up.  Runners know how to tolerate pain and being uncomfortable, because it's the very definition of running.  They are strong.  They are not whiners.  And I without a doubt wish more of us Christians acted like runners.  
• After about 8 miles of running I start dreaming of how good the ice bath will feel.
• One of my favorite running songs has been "Overcomer" by Mandisa. It has found a constant loop for many, many miles.  You're an overcomer.  Stay in the fight till the final round.  You're not going under, because God is holding you right now.    Don't quit, don't give in.

• I am dreading the porta potty's.  Like more than I'm dreading 13.1 miles.
• I must stick to my training plan.  Go out s-l-o-w.  Fuel often, and soak it in.  The end.
• Also, my friends and family have graciously endured months and months of running talk.  They are awesome.  

So.  Next post = Race Recap. Hooray!  Hopefully...

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On the Run

This month marks five years that my friend Billie and I have been running together.  


Five.  


I'm not sure I can express how miraculous that is.  But it is.  Because it's running.


Billie and I were new friend back then.  Our sons were in preschool together, and were good friends (still are)...and the preschool teacher kept getting Billie and I confused for each other.  And so that's how we got introduced.  She was fairly new to tiny town too and I was desperate to make friends.  Billie is pretty quiet, and I am...less quiet, so I sorta stalked her into a McDonald's play date.  

This is Billie and I in 2009.  :)

She mentioned she was running and I thought to myself...I should do that.  It was a whim.  But sure enough, we started meeting up a few times a week at 6AM...and from there it took on a life of its own.  


We've taken short breaks...due to freezing weather, injury, boredom, and my barfing-all-the-time pregnancy with Lucy.  But we always come back to it.


I laugh when I think of all the different things we've discussed on the roads and trails.  Because you know, between running partners, what's said on the trails stays on the trails.  It's the runners code.  Or something.  It's safe to say she knows more about me than anyone (other than Ben,)

A running partner is a gift.  One that I do not take for granted.  Without her showing up at my door, or counting on me, I would absolutely not run on my own.  And the fact that we have the same pace...well that's simply divine.  And one that can put up with me at 6 in the morning for that long...priceless.  She has become one of my closest friends.  We joke about whether we run because of the physical part of it...or because it's good therapy.  


And the answer is both.  Without a doubt.

And after 5 years of running I'm happy to report that the Mizuno Wave Inspires that I have to wear because I "mildly overpronate"  FINALLY came in fun colors.   


Because really, a little gaudy makes running way more fun.


Here's to five more years of running.  At least.

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Riveting Stuff

I bit the side of my cheek with my molars.  It happened about a week ago, and now I have the biggest baddest canker sore evah.  I think it may actually just eat a hole entirely through my face. Can they do that?  Wait...don't tell me if it can. I don't wanna know.


I've tried gargling warm salt water (because this is what my Grandma has made me do since I was a toddler) but it's not helping all that much.  I've also been spraying it with sore throat numbing spray, and that helps for about 1.5 seconds.


Any tips for me?


On a totally other topic about me I am on day 4(of 10) of my low sugar/carb detox. I'm less cranky, for sure.  But I'd still love me a bowl of cookie dough...and by bowl, I mean mixing bowl.  I will admit, the food I am eating now is keeping my belly full much longer than the usual junk I eat, but at the end of the day, I'm just not eating all that much because, lets face it,  if I can't have sugar, I'd rather not eat.    


Also, yesterday on my morning run, my body was like, "What the heck?!?  Where's the sugar? Where's the carbs? I quit."  It felt terrible.  So tomorrow I'm gonna give my body what it's used to having before a run: peanut butter toast and coffee.  


Wow...aren't you glad I'm blogging again...riveting stuff here folks.  Riveting.

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I Lose Track...

Sometimes I lose track of time.  It gets away from me.

Like on the blog.

Or the month of March.

• I finished the 30x30 challenge!  But still never took any more pictures.  Ah well.  It was a good experience.  
• I've been sewing little dresses for Lucy.  

• I'm back at running.  Winter and the treadmill were not so great, but this week marks week 4 of running at least 3 times per week.  It feels good to be back into the groove.  I signed up for a 5k on April 2nd...which feels like tomorrow already.
• My friend Beth took some pictures of Lucy that are so cute I can't quit looking at them.  Hoping to get them posted tomorrow so that you can all ooooh and ahhhh...because that's fun stuff.

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30 for 30 Remix

Let talk 30x30 remixing.  If you need some background, go here or to see my 30 items go here.

• Remembering/avoiding to take pictures has improved this week, but only slightly.  I took four pictures, and you've already seen at least two of them.  Fail. 
• When I picked my 30 choices it was 50+ degrees out and I had spring on the brain.  Since then, it has been snowing and freezing and the outfits I had planned in my head, with ballet flats and cuffed jeans...now seem a little ridiculous.   Not that that will stop me.
• I did pull out the white jeans on a snowy, cold day in February.  

I likely would have never thrown these items together if they weren't in my 30x30, but they worked.  My hair...not so much.  I'm growing it out.  And it's at a length that I just sort of despise right now.  Now short enough to have a style, and not long enough to make me like it.  Bear with me, in a year is should be fine...and then I'll cut it. ;)

You can't really tell, because of my craptastic photo skills, but this jcrew tshirt has rosettes on it, and then I wore a rosette pin and I think that might be considered over-kill by some.  But not me.

 I put this old navy white pheasant top in the 30x30 because it's one that I always keep in my closet, certain that I'll wear it and then never do.  I like it fine...except the sleeves make it nearly impossible for me to wear a cardigan.  And as you can tell, my basic uniform consists of jeans and a cardigan.  I love them deeply.

I added in the 2nd pic, because I realized I'd cut off me feet in the first shot....but my expression in the 2nd shot is...ummm, yeah, not so cute.

Here's what I've learned so far:

• I'm on day 13 of 30, I'm going to have to get MUCH more creative with the outfits from here on out or I am going to lose my mind.  Creativity requires planning.  So far, my planning consists of rummaging through my closet in the dark hoping not to wake Lucy up (yes, that's a whole other post.)  This week, I'm going to try harder.  In theory, at least.
• It is very difficult to suck in your stomach and smile and take a picture at the same time.  

• I am already way more appreciative of the clothing items hanging on the "other" side of my closet.  It's probably because they're off limits, but I notice myself thinking, when this thing is over, I'm wearing that and that and that.   And that is a good thing...learning to shop my closet.
• I really, really, REALLY want to have a real life clothes swap with friends.  I think it would be so fun, I just don't know how to do it...yet.
• And this is totally off topic, but my sporadic winter running is turning into regular running starting this week, thanks to my running buddy being at my house at 6am.  Very excited to get back into the routine.   Very excited that tomorrow is MARCH.  
• I'm very happy to be back into the blogging groove as well. ;)
• And, if you want to see how remixing is done (with cute pictures) then you should go here and be inspired...and then come back and join me in remixing.  It's never too late to start *key inspirational music*

Happy Sunshiny Monday!  

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Not the Same

So...


This time last year I was either throwing up, or laying on the couch feeling like throwing up.  Little Lucy was the cause of those good times.  


And maybe you remember (because I beat it like a dead horse) that I had trained that summer to run a little half-marathon and then couldn't because the barfing made me dehydrated like 2 days before the race.  I was so bummed.


Funny how things change in a year.


This time last year she was a little person that consisted of a clump of cells, and now she is this:

This time last year I was ready to run a half-marathon.  This year, I ran that race...but in a relay.  My leg of it was a whole 3 miles.  It hurt.  I'm not a racer...I like to run at a leisurely pace. The desire to run further is gone.  The desire to run at all is dwindling.  I'm trying to make myself like it again, but it's just not happening.  Wishing my feelings would catch up to my actions.


So much changes in a year.  Some for the better.  Some not.  I find that I'm sort of trying to figure out where I fit and where stuff fits.  Prioritizing.  Trying to fit back into my "pre-baby-girl" life is just not working how I thought it would.  Kinda like my jeans.  They technically fit, but just don't feel quite the same.


I wouldn't change a thing.  Lucy has blessed our family beyond words.  It's like she's always been a part of us, or at least was always meant to be a part of us.  I look in the mirror and I see a different person than I saw a year ago. And I like her, but I'm also getting to know her to.  She's different.   

• I'm a mother of 4.  
• I'm no longer the mama of boys, but the mama of "the boys & Lucy"
• I've been the youngest in my group of friends in tiny town, but our kids were all similar ages...now I have a baby, and the dynamics change.
• Running has now become a group activity.  I used to like it and my friends didn't.  Now, they're all into it and I'm, well...not.
• I've even decided to grow my hair out for awhile.  I KNOW!  

It's interesting how changes in life, physical or emotional change who we are.  Part of me misses my old self.  And part of me is looking forward to getting to know the new one better.  Part of me just wants everything to return to the "normal" I knew, and part is looking forward to the possibilities ahead.  The one thing I can't escape...is that it means change.  I am not the Sarah I was a year ago.  Sure, a lot of me is, but a lot of me is not.  It means changes in my real life, and likely changes in blog life.  

I'm done trying to fit back in.  I'm ready for the new.  Ready to be open to the possibilities God has in store for me.  Bring it.  

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Kind of a Boring Update...

I probably have 5 minutes before Little Miss Lucy decides her can-it-really-even-be-called-a-nap-because-it's-so-stinkin'-short "nap" is over.  Let's see how much I can cram in.

1. It's my mom's birthday today.  She's 51.  I only tell you this, because she loves to point out everyones ages...and she always makes me a year older than I really am.  (that sentence will make her smile:)  Happy Birthday Mom!!  Love you.
2. Boys are all back in school and enjoying it.  
3. Lucy turned 4 months.  She's 13 pounds.  Which makes her 2 pounds smaller than Eli and Jake were at this age, and 6 pounds smaller than Noah was.  Her and Jake both had their check-ups/shots yesterday.  They both did great.  Dairy Queen was involved as a bribe.
4. Her smile that will make you want to eat her up:

Of course blogger would choose to not rotate my picture today.

5.  Running (post pregnancy) was...lets say...miserable feeling for awhile.  I just didn't feel like doing it.  And although I've kept at it, much whining was involved.  But this week, I think I've turned a corner, both physically and mentally.  Pushing through the 4-mile wall of torture feels like a breakthrough.  After that wall, the rest of the run doesn't feel quite so bad.  For this week anyways. 

6. I have succumbed to drinking regular pop again.  I know, I know...I'm so weak.  Worse yet, I don't even care about its high fructose corn syrup.  I'll leave you with that super exciting piece of info...and speaking of pop, I could use one right about now...

I made it through 6 things and Lucy is still sleeping!  Wheee!

So, what's new with you?  Tell me what I've missed.

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The One I've Been Dreading...

I've been avoiding my blog so that I can avoid this post...because I don't really want to write about it. It's a bit of a sore subject. I'll summarize and then we can just move on without mentioning it again...sound good?

Let's Bullet it...

• Trained all summer for a 1/2 mary.
• 1/2 mary was last Saturday, Sept. 12th.
• Paid $40 to register.
• Friday before race begin really not feeling well.
• Barfing is next...hello dehydration.
• Realize I'm not going to be able to do the race.
• Weeping and gnashing of teeth.
• Drag myself to race to cheer on my running partner, Billie, who does great! So, so proud of her.
• Pity party for myself continues...apparently I don't know when to leave a party.
• Wrestle with God on the timing issue...begging Him for some wisdom.
• Pity party over.
• There will be other races.
• The end.

No need to send condolences. Trust me when I tell you I've spent enough time feeling sorry for myself. Way more than enough.

The barfing happened for a reason...His timing is perfect...even when I don't understand it.

There...enough of that. Let's move on to some fun updates that I know you'll find interesting ;)

• Tonight is our homecoming. Julie gets to be one of the honoraries on the homecoming court so Ben gets to walk her across the field. How cute is that? I will totally have pictures for you.
• Julie's date for homecoming is also the homecoming king and one of our star football players. It may be just me, but I'm finding that as a parent of a teenager now, it doesn't matter how nice and wonderful the person they want to date seems, I still tend to view them as the enemy. *smile*
• Happy Friday! WOO HOO!

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The Journey

I ran the 10 miles on Saturday. I've had high hopes of hitting double digits since last April when I started training for this dang thing. Double digits is sort of a big deal...to me anyways. I never dreamed I'd be able to run that far. I never wanted to run that far...until God set something into plan that I couldn't say no to.

The 10 miles wasn't as great as I'd pictured it to be, but I accomplished it...so we're gonna go with "good enough" on that one.

Next Saturday, the 12th, I will be starting the race at 7:30 AM. God help me. He started this. And all these months He's sustained me, even though along the way I sometimes lost sight of the purpose, He was always patient and faithful to gently remind me. Recently, a course of events has really caused me to question what He's doing amidst this running thing...I think I thought He changed His mind...He did not. He just wants to show me how limitless He really is.

And that my friends...is a little scary to me. It shouldn't be. I wish I could tell you that I have no doubts...that my faith is so huge I'm not concerned one bit about what He's asking me to do. But even though I know He's with me, and I know He's gonna sustain me, I also know the pain that's involved. Months of training has made that very obvious. It all comes down to this...

Even when it seems and feels impossible...do I trust Him?

I do. It doesn't take the scariness away, it just gives me the the strength to jump...or in my case line up with 400 some runners at the starting line.

That race next Saturday...it's for Him.

Thanks to all of you for joining me on the journey!

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Nine

I ran 9 miles today.

And I didn't die.

It didn't even feel terrible.

I feel like that fact alone deserves it's own post.

1/2 mary is in 3 weeks.

I think I can...I think I can...I think I can...

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I'm Like 90 Years Old...

My Life:

• Yesterday I had 3 additional boys in my home for 9 hours. That's SIX boys. I just heard you all gasp. The best was when I had to load them all into my little mini van to make a 40 minute round trip to take Odie to the vet and myself to the Chiropractor. Good times. All was going well until we stopped back into the vet to pick up Odie (from a routine procedure that I'll spare you the details of.) Turns out they needed to keep Odie for a little longer.
• In the afternoon, after the vet had looked at Odie and figured out a course of action for his little "problem" we headed back to the mini van and the 40 minute round trip to pick up our beloved wiener dog. The bill ended up being $28.00, which made me love the vet and Odie even more!
• The benefit to yesterday is that today my perspective is readjusted. Three boys?!? Easy peasy.
• Chiropractor: I generally reserve my visits to the Chiro for the special occasions when I find myself unable to move. My Chiro tells me this is how most people are. I wonder if most people also find the word Chiropractor too long? Just thinking out loud...anyways I do have a point...and it has to do with running. For the past month or so I've been having some groin pain on my left side after I hit about mile 5. I've been stretching, and icing, and heating, and drugging myself up with Advil. Last week I decided to head to the Chiro to see if they could magically fix me...like she did when I attempted this brilliant stunt. It turns out that my left hip was well above the right and thus causing me to run funny and put more strain on the left side. After the adjustment I ran 7 miles on Saturday with no pain. Yay! Yesterday's check up was just to make sure the adjustment stuck...and it did. I may even go back and visit the Chiro without consistent pain first, because she gave me some good information that I will spare from sharing with you because I would totally butcher it. Another post I guess.
• Wow...I'm now like a 90 year old woman who only talks about herself and her dogs old bodies falling apart. Glad you stopped by aren't you.
• TEN DAYS. 10 days till Julie is at our home. She actually flew into America last Sunday and is spending 2 weeks in Boston at a camp for exchange students, where I'm assuming they teach her all kinds of stuff about how wonderful we Americans are .
• My calendar for August is already full. Having a teenager in the home is totally gonna rock our little world with activity. The rest of July is sort of the calm before the storm...in a good way. I feel like I did when I was pregnant with my first baby. I planned and prepared, read everything I could get my hands on, talked to countless moms...but nothing, nothing could prepare me for what was in store once that baby arrived. We're excited, and even a little nervous...in a good way.
• I'm off to go mow the lawn. I think it will make up for the fact that we were supposed to run 6 miles this morning and decided we were just too tired (lazy) and ran about 2 and then walked so we could just chat...because obviously mowing is the equivalent of running 4 miles...

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Let's Pretend I Know What I'm Talking About...

I've received several emails lately from other bloggers who have either taken the plunge to start running regularly or signed themselves up for some r

aces that are longer than they've ever ran.

I'm pretty giddy when anyone asks for advice because it means that they are not yet aware of how completely clueless I am. It usually only takes me hitting "reply" to clear up that confusion. That being said, I do know what I like/don't like when it comes to running "stuff." I only know what works for me...what ends up working for you might be totally different.

That being said, here is my totally random and con

fusing list of hodge-podge running tips.

• If you're just starting to run...go SLOW. Chances are, you think you're going slow, but you're not going slow enough. Also, ease into it. Walk/run and work your way up otherwise you'll end up with injuries that will make you quit.
• Runners World is an amazing resource on just about everything you'd ever want to know about running...from actual experts. I really like their Smart Coach feature which lets you put in information specific to your running abilities and they come up with a plan. We are using one of the Smart Coach plans for our 1/2 marathon training.
• For me, running is social, so a running partner is a must. It's someone to go through the process with. Here is Billie and I this winter...good thing she never reads my blog because she would kill me ;)
• Signing up for the 1/2 mary or any race is really important. That goal looming out there makes me get my butt in gear...otherwise I tend to say...maybe tomorrow...
• Find someone else who loves to talk running...it's fun and motivating.
• There's lots of stuff I'm still struggling with...what to eat and when before long runs, what to eat period, a nagging groin pain on my left side that seems to come and go, the feeling that I just can't do it or just don't want to do it, enjoying the process...stuff like that.
• There are several running blogs I lurk on. My two favorites are Run Well and Corre, Corre...they inspire me and have other great ideas and information.
• Blogger has tested my patience today with formatting issues...I give up. The pictures insist on standing on end...
• 
  We have a running store nearby that puts you in different shoes and then records you on the treadmill to see if they fit right. If you have one in your area I highly recommend this. Before I tried it I had shoes that I loved, but after being fitted for these Sauconys I realized how much better it made my stride.
  
  
  The Adidas sweat band makes me look like a total idiot but it is excellent for catching the salty sweat that kept getting into my eyes and burning like none other. I keep telling Billie I'm gonna get some striped tube socks to complete the sweat band look.
• We bought a fuel belt and we share it. We only use it for runs over 7 miles, and we take turns wearing it because it is a little annoying to run with.
• The ipod and Garmin I've mentioned before. Cannot live without them. Can't remember life without them. I lovey lovey lovey them. (to read more running posts you can click on "running" under the header Stuff I Blog About along the left side)
  
• SPF 70 sunscreen for face. Trying to avoid the face wrinkles. What more can I say.
• The little red packs are Jelly Belly Sport Beans. They replenish stuff you need. GU packs are another option, but I just can't stomach them. We use them for long runs. I usually eat just a few before the run (otherwise they make me feel sick) but by about mile 4 I can shove down the rest of the pack. They really do make a difference.
• I love my Runner's World subscription. It has tons of useful information and lots of inspirational stories. If a 70+ year old man can run marathons then I can certainly run 13.1 miles...stuff like that.
• 
• Above is my favorite running gear for warm weather. The Nike shirt and tank are the dry fit and I love them.
• The Mazuno running skirt is fantastic because it has several zippered pockets to carry stuff and compression shorts underneath the skirt.
• Champion sports bra that I love because it is TIGHT.
• FoxRiver socks are my favorite. They're thin and just perfect.
• I also love my Nike dryfit pants. They moisture wicking and breathe well.
• Something not pictured is Glide. It looks like deodorant but actually stops chafing. Don't get me started on chafing...
• 
  
• Well, I think that's pretty much it. I'm sure I forgot something. All you runners out there, feel free to drop in your 2 cents worth! And if anyone else has any other questions, leave a comment and either myself or someone else that actually has running knowledge can hopefully answer it!

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Can't Come Up With a Title...

This morning in the parsonage...

• I awoke to the fact that Julie will arrive in 35 days...and then I wondered if she'll need knee pads for volleyball camp when she comes, because I'd hate for her to go and not have the appropriate attire on her third day in America. What kind of Pseudo mom am I if I don't even know what she is supposed to wear!?!?

• After dragging myself out of bed, I was greeted by Jake who had picked out his own clothes and dressed himself.

Nice choice with the dark socks and sandals little buddy...elderly men all over would be so proud of you...although I'm not sure they'd choose to wear their shoes on the wrong feet. The shirt on backwards...that's just a bonus.

• I went out to water my plants...still in my pajamas. Classy.

• I found this in my fern:

• I ran over to my neighbors house to take the cookies out of the oven for her (because we live in tiny town and we do that sort of thing...it's the best place on earth.) I still had my pajama pants on....and I was out of breath when I got back. What? How, you ask? Aren't I training for a 1/2 Mary? Why yes, technically I am. Except this week I have not ran once. Not once. I am 14 miles behind for the week...and scheduled to run 9 tomorrow....which is my 11 year wedding anniversary. Did you catch all that?

• I learned something about myself this week. This week has been full of ups and downs. Big ones. For some people, running is an escape. It is not that for me...I so wish it was. Physically, running is a great stress reliever for me...mentally though, it's just one more thing to do...one more thing required of me. This week, I just wasn't up to it. I needed a break. I fell off the running wagon. Monday though...I'll get back on...and pray that my body decides not to punish me too badly for the week long break.

• Tonight, my mom is taking the boys overnight so that Ben and I can have a date and a quiet house. Eleven years...we were babies when we got married. 20 and 23...but we were ready, as crazy as that sounds. And it has been an amazingly wonderful 11 years...which sounds even crazier ;)

• God gets the glory for it. All of it. Happy Weekend!

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The Opposite of Deep Thoughts

Because I feel like  boring you...

• I cannot stop thinking about the last chapter of The Bible Study we finished.  Self-Control.  I went through it at a snails pace, trying to soak it all in.  I keep reading and re-reading it in hopes that it will consume me until I actually start doing it.  Beth Moore says it best, "Many times we don't have a knowledge problem, we have an obedience problem."  Yep...that would be me.
• Ran 6 miles last night faster than normal and it felt great!  Weird how that happens.  I'll attribute it to these little tasty things.   I'm still trying to get the hang of eating them while running without choking on their sugary goodness.
• My baby boy turns FOUR tomorrow.  Why four already?!?  Just yesterday...
• Turns out saying I'm going to take a break from blogging actually makes me feel free to blog.  Weird.
• I'm going to start writing down everything I eat in order to shock my brain out of denial about what I'm really eating.  My poor brain...it's in for a rude awakening.  
• I'm off to Wal-Mart with 3 boys.  Good times.  You can bet that along the way I will mull over whether or not I will swing by Starbucks and 

1. spend too much money on a sugary delicious drink.
2. then be forced to write it down in my new Dwight Schrutte notebook that I bought at Target because I totally thought it would be perfect for my new food journal.
3. both try to remember and forget what Beth Moore had to say about self-control.
4. wish I didn't really have a free will and that God would just make me do as I should...it would be so much easier, no?

Happy Friday!

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