We had our level II ultrasound today and the cyst was COMPLETELY gone.
And the baby looks perfect.
Words really cannot express how much all of your prayers have meant to Ben and I. Seriously. Each and every comment was such a comfort. How amazing to have so many Saints standing in prayer for us for this wee little baby. Thank you.
We are so relieved...there's no other way to put it. I can't think of a better way to end 2009 and usher in 2010. We are so thankful for God's grace.
Hard to explain. Hard to find words for. Hard to put out there.
Easier to leave blank.
But life is not blank. And if I want to document this journey...it's gonna need words.
Last Tuesday I went into my Dr. for a routine prenatal appointment. There I learned that (from the previous ultrasound) they had found a small Choroid Plexus Cyst on our baby's brain.
Here's what I know:
They're not all that uncommon. They show up in 1-2% of ultrasounds and most often disappear by 32 weeks of pregnancy.
They cause no harm to the baby's brain.
They can be a very "soft" marker for other chromosomal problems. However, the rest of our ultrasound looked completely normal, so they are not very concerned.
It's still enough to make this pregnant momma dissolve in tears.
We go this Thursday, December 31's to a ginor-mo hospital for a level II ultrasound. My Dr. tells me that most of the time, the little cyst has already gone away. I think that sounds pretty good...let's pray for that.
They'll also take a more complete look at the little babe just to make sure everything is as it should be.
It's been an emotional week to say the least. I find myself trying to stay distracted, although nothing really distracts. Wishing time to go faster so that Thursday arrives sooner...and then the next moment wishing Thursday away. I flip flop from peace to paranoia to peace again.
The only things that brings relief is the time spent worshiping The One who holds it all in His hands. No matter what happens, or what news we get, it doesn't change Him. It doesn't change who He is to me. There's comfort in that.
I know I can count on bloggy friends to join me in prayer...thank you *smile*
There's songs that God uses to get my attention. They reach into my heart and seem to wrench it till it almost hurts...because He wants me to get it. And sometimes...I don't want to get it. I want to hide from it. But, I have a Father that loves me too much to let me run for long. This song this past week has done exactly that.
I want my hands to stay lifted. During all of life, the joys, the pain, the chaos. Those hands quickly drop during life's busyness. I need this reminder...I need this to be my heart.
If you washed away my vanity
If you took away my words
If all my world was swept away, would You be enough for me?
Would my beating heart still sing...
If I lost it all, would my hands stay lifted
to the God who gives, and takes away
If you take it all, this life you've given
Still my heart will sing to You
When my life is not what I expected
The plans I made have failed
When there's nothing left to steal me away
Will You be enough for me?
Will my broken heart still sing?
Even if you take it all away, you'll never let me go
Your comments on yesterdays post...well they just made my day. Turns out, I enjoy torturing people...who knew?!? I'm kidding, I totally knew that about myself already.
Secrets. My blog friend Jamieblogged about them today. Her sweet post got me thinking...and thinking leads to confession.;)
I'm really good with other peoples secrets. As a pastors wife you either are, or you ruin your ministry. I really think it's that simple.
With my own secrets...not so much. I can hardly wait for Christmas so I can give the boys their presents that I think they'll love. Actually, maybe that has more to do with my patience/instant gratification problem rather than secret keeping...digressing...
Back to point: When I found out I was pregnant I pretty much convinced Ben we should wait till the end of the first trimester to let people know. Which we did
...sorta. I told a few select people that are close to me, our little secret. Running partners, intuitive friends, that kind of thing. It helped my to keep the secret, secret to the general public because I still had a few people to talk with about it.
And so...you should know, that there are indeed 4 other people besides myself, Ben and the ultrasound tech who know the gender of this wee baby. I cannot disclose their identities...for their protection. BUT, they are not family :) They are the close friends who actually seemed like they might explode if I did not tell them.
The reason for the secret...because surprises really are fun. For you.
PS - I do like that some of you bribed me with presents. You're good. Very good. I'm afraid it will disappoint you to know that the color scheme of everything I loved on Etsy was kelly greens, oranges, yellows and reds...otherwise known as gender neutral. They have these sort of 1930's ish prints that are so stinkin' a
I've got baby on the brain. I can't help it. The ultrasound on Monday really kicked it in gear. I've done really well so far as nesting goes. Ya'll know how I am. Remember Julie? Yeah. I had her room ready 6 months before she came. Considering that I'm half way through my pregnancy and haven't done any nesting is considerable progress...I think.
And then yesterday hit. Big blizzard, we were all snuggled in at home with nothing to do, even Ben...and I began looking online at baby stuff. And looking and looking and looking. Etsy may have ate up hours of my life last night...seriously they have THE CUTEST stuff ever. Ever.
And then I started the lists. Stuff I need for baby, stuff I want for baby, stuff I don't have anymore because I got rid of it during my "we are so done having babies" stage.
I also made a "where we're gonna put everything" list. Baby will arrive in April, Julie will leave us in early June. We've only got three bedrooms. I'll paint you a picture:
Bedroom one: 3 "brudders" as Jake calls them
Bedroom two: Julie
Bedroom three: Ben, me, baby and all the baby's stuff.
I'm good with small spaces. I just need a plan.
PS - Did I mention we know the sex of the baby?!? We do. Well Ben and I and the ultrasound tech do. For everyone else, it's a secret. Mean, aren't we?!?
Putting up the tree is always entertaining. Ben and I sat back and let the boys do all the work. You'll notice how they paid close attention to spacing everything out just so...or not. Since the initial decorating, they've rearranged the ornaments approximately 23 times. By my guesstimate, there are currently 3 ornaments remaining that have not been broken. Ah well. Their lucky I'm not sentimental.
We also spent some time making the following:
Kind of. The picture on the box is a dirty lie. It came out looking like this...
Which was perfectly ok, because we all knew the train didn't stand a chance of surviving more than a few hours before we picked all the candy off, leaving behind the pre-made brick like so-called gingerbread. Also, who knew that smearing green frosting in our teeth would be so entertaining?!?
Odie however, was not amused.
In other news:
Ultrasound yesterday. Amazing.
3-D version
And last but not least, we are expecting our first blizzard of the winter, which means our first snow day is likely tomorrow. The first one is all fun and games, but by the 12th one in March, weeping and gnashing of teeth follows...by me, not them.
Days seem to be getting away from me. Do you have those weeks that are so full of stuff that you just go into survival mode?
I am there.
Part of the reason I blog is so that I can keep a record (that I can find and not lose in a pile somewhere) of our everyday life. All I have to do is click on my sidebar of my blog, pull up the month I'm looking for and say, Oh yeah...that's what we were doing last year! I love that part of blogging.
Let's recap.
Thanksgiving in Wisconsin...
Preggo sisters.
Julie sticking her stomach out...
Actually, I think that's enough recapping for today :)
Wife to Ben, who also happens to be the Pastor of a sweet little church in a tiny little town. Mama to three boys and little Lucy. We live in the parsonage, 27 steps from said little church. This is the journey...it involves lots of run-on sentences.
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