To Find You...

My faith in Jesus defines me. I know this. It's who I am, to the core of my being. He changed me...and in still in the process, but without a doubt, I cannot for one second deny the change He's done.

I know who I was. And I know who I am now.

When someone close to me, whom I love immeasurably, walks away from that same faith...it hurts in a way I can't explain. Sometimes they're aware of what they're doing, and sometimes...not.

Last night, as I was driving to a friends Tupperware party, I was stewing about the situation with this one I care about so much. Playing conversations in my head, over and over. Some of the conversations were real...others were imaginary...you know the ones...where I'm all tellin' them what they need to hear, and they're all listening and responding positively...funny how it goes perfectly in my head and never that great in real life :)

Anyways, I was also making a mental list of all the possible reasons they were turning their back on a God who is so obviously trying to love them, and WHY this was such a bad, bad move.

I came up with a pretty good list.

But the list...it didn't make me feel better. It gave me a sense of hopelessness.

I happened to be listening to a CD that I've listened too since I was 15. It's an Audio Adrenaline Greatest Hits, and a song came on.

This song, in particular, I've never cared for. Something about the style of it makes me skip over it every. single. time. But last night, I know without a doubt God meant for me to hear the words to that song, because as I moved to push the skip button, I suddenly knew I needed to hear what that song said.

And, like so many other things in my life, something I didn't care for at all has now become one of my favorites.







I'm lost and broken all alone on this road
The wheels keep turning but the feeling is gone
when I fear I'm on my own
But you remind me i am not alone


You say..


I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you
(For you alone)I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you



It's dark and lonely and the path is unclear
Can't move my feet because I'm frozen with fear
And you say, my child, my child
I am always here, I'm by your side


I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you
(For you alone) I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you


You're never too far down
I promise you'll be found,
I'll reach into the mud,
the miry clay
pursue you to the end,
like a faithful friend,
nothing in this world,
will keep me away,


I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you
(For you alone) I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you... to find you..



I was filled with peace. All of my own words were washed away with the truth this song brings out of scripture. The song reads like a love letter from Jesus. He pursues us, because He loves us...and He knows where each one of us is at today, the good, the bad, and the ugly in each of us. He's not intimidated when we run from Him...and some of us know we've been running for a looooong time.



And He PURSUES us. Nothing in this world can keep Him away. Nothing.

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