Two ideas spoke to me through your comments.
- My heart wandering issue
- My 3 year old's stubbornness is driving me crazy...I am God's 3 year old.
I'll tackle the first today and the second tomorrow.
It's the miracle that is...blogging. Journaling, with feedback. And your feedback got me thinking... a lot. Mama Belle (my bff whom I've never met who lives in/by the bayou where I've never been) said this to me, "You do know we all struggle with this, right?"And I said (not out loud) to myself, "Pfffff...of course I do Mama Belle." And the next thought that IMMEDIATELY followed was "but I'm sure my heart wanders away more quickly than theirs."And there ya have it. Truth with a tiny lie attached to the end of it. I know it's a universal struggle for Christians...I've just believed that just maybe ya'll can keep your hearts from so easily being swayed from it's first love...Jesus. Where exactly this thought process came from, I have no idea...but yesterday I was made aware of it. The truth is, that I know first hand how easily my heart wanders...it may be the at the root of all of our struggles as Believer's...after all, the first commandment was to have no other gods.
Speaking of no other gods...yesterday I just happened to go to the post office, and there just happened to be a certain book there that I had ordered last week from Amazon. Yep. This book. I ordered it sort of on a whim, last week. Some bloggy friends had said they're reading it, and when I was on Amazon ordering something else, this little book popped up and I clicked on it.
Last night I opened it and read to about page 13 before I set it down and tried to devise a plan to somehow forget I'd ever seen it. It's that good :) I came up with no good plan. It keeps staring at me even as I type this.
I know the Holy Spirit wants to use this book to show me areas of my life that need to change. But change is hard...and frankly, I'm a tad lazy.
But here it is. The root of the issue...staring at me from my desk. God has taught me innumerable lessons (most of them multiple times) and there is one thing I know for sure. I can run from this...but God, in His infinite love for me, will out-run me. I can surrender now, or I can totally wear myself out first, but either way...He's gonna deal with this issue. I think I'll do it now :)
So...I'm off to begin confronting my modern day idols...and separate my kids so they don't kill each other...all in a days work ;)
Oh wait...it also makes me think of a song :)
Posts
I just finished the NOG bbible study. Get ready for some serious soul searching!
ReplyDeleteLove you!
I just finished the NOG Bible study, too. Hang with it, you'll be SO glad you did!
ReplyDeleteI also just finished the NOG study. In the intro where it talks in Kings about 'While they worshiped God they served their idols' that has stuck with me. What am I serving while I worship? Hmmm...obviously we are still working the no idol thing out. Apparently 6 weeks was not enough ;o)
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the open arms waiting to hold you close. We do all need revival. Praise the Lord your heart still hears His still small voice! He grows you because you belong to Him!
ReplyDeleteI, too, did the NOG study. It's AMAZING! I think I'm ready to start it all over again.
ReplyDeleteOne chapter talks about how Satan tells us the truth, but attaches a lie to it.
May He bless you through the book. But be prepared for some heavy duty stuff!
Sometimes the beauty of the wandering heart is hearing the Father when He calls us back. The reassurance that He knew where we were all along, has kept His eye on us so to speak.
ReplyDeleteI think about the prodigal son and how blessed he must have felt to have seen his father's face when he returned.
So big wanders or little wanders of the heart, it is still a joy to find the Father waiting.
Jen
I have never heard that song - I love it! Makes me think of when I have any conflict with my husband - usually brings me to the alter and my eyes are dry before I leave the floor....I tend to not say everything on my mind - I just cry. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your blog.
love love love love love love LOVE LOVE the Crowns-did i mention LOVE--they are the very best at reminding me and gently showing me when i am when I dont even know how i got there in the first place---yeah it is so easy to be so good on Sundays at the altar but darn it when you walk out that door life is totally different--i find myself relating to "Somewhere in the Middle" A LOT!!!! Darn you Mark Hall for getting in my head and writing music about it--oh wait, there are others like me too? ;-)
ReplyDeleteI know that your husband's a pastor and all, but right now our pastor is doing a series on falling in love with Jesus again. If you want to check out the messages, go to Cascadeschurch.com
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for you.
Sarah, your blog is amazing. You minister to me so much because you are so real about your relationship with God.
ReplyDeleteThis is especially encouraging because people imagine so many pastor's wives have it all together all the time. Thank you for being honest about where you struggle and honest about your pursuit to grow closer to Him.
Thanks again. I look forward to reading tomorrow's post!
Oh, Sarah. Just surrender. It's no good holding onto anything. God's always showing me the big picture. There are many things throughout my life that I've had to let go of.
ReplyDeleteGod always says, "Ummm ... and why are you here on earth?" (except He really doesn't say ummm) He brings me back to my purpose ... to glorify Him with my life (which I fail miserably at every day).
I just keep trying ... beatin' up my horrible, sinful flesh and rest in His grace. Thank God for His grace and His constant, unfailing love.
BFF, we must plan to meet before heaven. It's just gonna happen. I'm not even really sure where Iowa is, somewhere in the Midwest, I think. I would have to look it up on the map. Wish we would have met when I lived in Oklahoma seven years ago. It would have been a lot closer. Might be going up north next year. Next time you're down south, let me know.
I love your sincerity and transparency. I'm excited to read what you have to share as you journey
ReplyDeleteMama Belle: I have never been "down south"...sad, I know. It's time for a vacation to the south...in January when it's the arctic here :)
ReplyDeleteCan I pick up a cute southern accent in just a few days?!?
Truth with a tiny lie attached -- such a dangerous thing. And we women are so good at believing that we alone are .... bad... at ...whatever is the point of the moment. It's good to remind ourselves of this.
ReplyDeleteFor a crash course in "Southern"...try over here: HOW TO SPEAK SOUTHERN .
Apparently if you hang out with me, you will get one, according to my blogging friends.
ReplyDeleteCome in December ... we're still wearing shorts.
Melissa recommended NOG to me...but after reading about all this conviction, I may have to reconsider! :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat a faithful God--it is His kindness to us that leads us to repentance!
Let us know what you think of it!
ReplyDeleteGood stuff here... real good stuff!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you are allowing Him to mold and shape you speaks for itself.
I'm off to look for that book.
Blessings to you Sarah - as you continue to minister to many through this life you're so blessed to live.