Let it All Out

Just let me say it...I REALLY like Tuesdays. On Tuesdays I do NOT have to get up to run, do not have carpool duty and only have to get one child out the door for school. LOVE Tuesday! Another bonus, is that tonight we have Ladies Bible Study, which I always look forward to.



The lesson we will be discussing in Seeking Him, is on honesty. *Deep breath* A week ago, I posted this, about my journey. Today, I am so happy to say, that because of God's incredible grace and mercy upon me, I stand a little farther up that mountain. I am a long ways from the top (trust me.) The urge to give up and slide back down is still there...but today, the desire to obey Him and do this thing His way, is far greater. Did you hear that!?!? Greater! WOO HOO!



God has shown me that there is being real, and there is being REAL. He requires complete honesty from me. He has shown me that anything less simply will not do. He has also so lovingly brought it to my attention, that His way is not the scary-hard way...my way is. I have realized that I cannot say to Him, " I'll follow you in all these areas Lord, but this one...this one (little area) is mine...I can deal with it...my way." The reason, I've discovered, is that, that one small area that I chose to not hand over to Him, really was not small at all. These past couple of weeks are ones that will stay etched in my mind...what I've learned about mercy and grace and forgiveness is something I can't put into words. Something I don't want to put into words, but rather ponder it in my heart...over and over so that I don't forget it.



It's also made me think about how God gradually and precisely reveals to me the true condition of my heart. He doesn't throw it at me all at once. Most likely because He knows in my humanness, I would not be able to bear it. Instead, he lovingly hands me it, piece by piece, when He knows I am ready, and then shows me what to do with it. Simply amazing.

The whole lesson on honesty really was outstanding. There were a few things though, that just jumped off the pages at me.

1. "We don't have to be trained to hide or pretend - it comes naturally. Even after we are redeemed in Christ and the Holy Spirit takes up residence within us, we often battle the urge to deceive. But God cannot bless or revive a heart that refuses to acknowledge the truth." p.45



2. "If we feel we are innocent and have nothing to be broken about, it is not that these things are not there but that we have not seen them, We have been living in a realm of illusion about ourselves." Roy Hession

I don't want to live in that realm of illusion ever again. This is one of those things where "good enough" will not do.

Father God, "thank you" seems so inadequate...(but you know my vocabulary is small) my heart cannot find words that seem, enough. Help me not to forget these lessons you have taught me, and give me the strength I need to continue on this path you have set me on. I know that on my own I will wander off...almost immediately. Help me not to be self deceived. Give me wisdom and discernment. I pray the same thing for each of the ladies in this study...and my friends in bloggy- land. Draw them close to you, Lord. I ask all of this in His Precious name...

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